Thursday, April 23, 2009

Buzzed Out

I was forced to have an hour long mid-afternoon nap earlier, and it is the deemed cause of the cognitive sensation of being "buzzed out", still groggy 1.5 hours and a tea time later. I am all the more suspicious of these cognitive impairments, but it serves to explain similar circumstances in the Before Overt Harassment days, prior to 04-2002. Back then, and the decades before, about every two to four months I would have a day where I felt like I never truly awakened; yawns, a certain "buzzed out" sensation etc, that would last the entire day. So it seems like this state began after the nap and will keep going, perhaps until the one hour part time evening job later.

I did have yoga today, and that is always a big perp event. The negro woman who lasted all of a few minutes at the last class returned and was sitting outside when I arrived. I didn't get her beside me like the last class, as they had two regulars between us. Interesting that the perps didn't groom me on Asians and then E. Indians beforehand, like they usually do in exposing me to incrementally browner skin tones. All part of the show it would seem. And lo, if the first two individuals I saw when I exited the class weren't negroes, both women. As regular readers will know, they are infrequent here, and seeing two disparate negro women as the first human specimens on the street outside the classroom is no random fluke, especially having one make her full time debut in the yoga class beforehand.

One negro woman was standing at a doorway, and the second was on the street, "happening" to meet the driver of a stopped vehicle (in mid-street for crissakes), and she then chatted to the driver in this outrageous stunt, and then she got in, all to arrive in front of me partially into the crosswalk for me to cross in front of the vehicle. This latter woman got a sidewalk, ashphalt street, an open vehicle chat, and then a vehicle passenger role all within some 30' ahead of me. And I was glad I didn't need to see her fugly dayglo "thing" on her head any more than I had to.

And as this yoga class was the first in two weeks, I suppose it was a big event for the perps. The streets were thick of "just stand there" sentries, and they even put on a skit with a policeman, the yellow jacketed "security dudes" who now patrol public streets for some unknown reason, and the apparently offending native Indian vagrants. Other "just stand there" sentries were putting on the vagrant act and even standing behind a corner so they could be seen at a closer range than normal. The fuckers did the same thing at the hospital in the major jerkaround days of 2002-03, "happening" to pop out just as I came by. I asked the doctor why this was occuring at a frequency far greater than normal and he said he didn't know. Just like much of the rest of the bullshit that went on at that time; it was arranged, and when I complained it was blown off or else it stopped immediately afterward. Funny how that keeps happening.

And I see that the cursor for this primitive Blogger/Blogspot application has now "disappeared", and all to increase the typos and add FUD to the experience of blogging.

I did the part time cleaning job at the car dealership tonight; no major jerkarounds, but a few disjunctions. the boss man told me yesterday that I was to do dust mopping under the showroom vehicles, and I said that was fine. Then tonight, he did it all, and never mentioned the topic, and the only way I knew about it was that he left the dust mop remains on the carpets for me to clean up with the vacuum cleaner. Not that I mind, but this is at least the second time he has told me about a major job change up and then reneged without a rationale.

But it has been a minor surreality day today. So many noises, often with addtional volume, are being separated from the ostensible source/cause. I rountinely pick up my knife from the dish drain mat and it is still making a clattering noise of being picked up when it is clearly in my hand and not contacting anything. This particular example has been deployed for at least six months, but this noise-action disconnect has now been applied to nearly everything I touch or interact with today, and is an over-all escalation of the weird. And I fear, for the forseeable future, as many of these new (extra-conventional physics) realities are introduced incrementally and then the remainder all at once. This would mean, more than ever, casting judgement on everything I do, handle, place or otherwise physically interact with by determining what was faked; noise, touch sensation, object movement and was it enhanced by the perps with their object manipulation fuckery games. Little did I know that when carried aloft of six dudes in suits back to my apartment in 04-2002, that I would be living in two worlds; the physically conventional and then the extra-conventional, and mapping my experiences between the two at every jucture, including the keystrokes of what I am writing at this moment, as these keystroke sounds aren't the same when I have my earmuffs on, allowing for mapping them and expectable differences between live and muffled noise through the earmuffs. Plus, the earmuffs have taken on a scuffling sound as if they are contacting my shoulders, although there is no felt sensation of such.

Other escalated surreality of late has been seeming teleportation obviousness, and/or blankouts to ensure there is an unusual discontinuity between what happens and what I expect to be normal. At least six gangstalkers arrived around me at about 1720h when I was waiting at a pedestrian crossing on my way to the car dealership cleaning job. This neighborhood doesn't have that many commuting pedestrians, and yet, here they were arriving silently and one after the other, each time when I wasn't looking. Then ditto yesterday when cleaning the car dealership's Service section. I step out of the room for three seconds, and lo, a "customer" has arrived and is comfortably leaning on the counter in discussion with the remaining staff member. The episode didn't make sense for how this person got in, got settled, and got into the details of his repair in such a short time. If he had been fumbling at the door when I exited the room I could buy that. Anyhow, this isn't the only example of individuals "showing up" from unexpected directions when they didn't return via the only route they could in conventional circumstances.

Other extra-conventional surreality was today at yoga. The one other guy arrived about the time I did so I walked with him from the front door to the class room. He ducked out to change into his gear, as he was wearing a light tan brown pants. He comes into the class room later, and he is wearing jeans and saying he forgot to bring his shorts. The instructor made a comment about his loose pants and that was fine. Then about halfway through the class he is wearing his tan brown pants again and had not left the yoga mat the entire time. The woman next to me was also subject to an in-class teleportation clothing change; she was wearing a black top and then later it was a dark navy blue and no other shirt was present and nor did she leave her yoga mat. So it would seem that the perps have graduated from the extant clothing colors and need a clothing change in-class for a shorter duration than the one hour class. Fucking bizarre to say the least, on top of the above mentioned negro woman introduction.

And the four month duration of having drafting tape over my very leaky window and sliding glass door ended today. The wind howls and very significant amount of cold air infiltration meant that these should be sealed off with one of the perp's very favorite adhesives, drafting tape. It did the job, and it looks to be the right time to remove the tape as it is very warm this week. A likely outcome next week will be a howling gale with very cold air to force a repeat if the pattern of perp fuckery is reliable, which it is. I only mention this because the perps are totally nuts about adhesives and tape, and needed this longer term application over the shorter time of last winter. I don't know why the perps are so bent out of shape about this arcane subject, but they are, and this is merely a record of this bullshit that seems to be part of a big intrusion day for them.

Another arcane interest of theirs is my laundry, and that meant the inaugural laundering of a pair of work pants that were purchased 09-2008, and only used for the first time this week. And it seemed that the perps needed me to have more contact time with the garment by dealing with endless loose threads that sprang forth, even if it had been trimmed before. This makes for "souveniers" of threads that are later dispatched to the garbage can, and too, more threads from the jeans that were also laundered, having been worn this week. The perps fucked my finger motor control in handling the shears and loose threads and turned the exercise into a rage-ification event, all likely related to the fact that they won't declare themselves in this ongoing insane provocation assault. I have never had any motor control problems, and then it suddenly erupts over this garment. And of some importance to the perps, it is a light tan brown with black panels on it, and represents the very first brown colored garment they have allowed me to wear in over five years. My camel colored sweaters of the day suddenly sprang holes in them and the alteration person wouldn't fix them. And note, these work pants have been worn only for some three to five hours in the day while doing landscape clearing at my perp abetting parent's place this week. Within day clothing changes seem to be more important to the perps of late, and they are contriving more events and circumstances to have this occur. I suppose this represents some progress for them, but for me, it is just more jerking around to play dumshit games for those without the intestinal fortitude to present themselves in person after 54 years of nonconsensual human experimentation. And as I often gripe about, per yesterday's blog posting, they seem to have created more adverse circumstances for themselves, and keep me in this torment for longer because of it.

This blog posting is done for today, and I suppose I will be putzing online tomorrow to fulfill yet more of the psychopathic agenda.


Anonymous said...

Having the gangstalkers take off their jackets (or other pieces of clothing) at certain critical times seems important to them, too. They like to have young adults with saggy pants (hip-hop style, hanging well below the waist, maybe boxers or underwear exposed for me to see) standing in front of me for some reason.

Another popular tactic is the shorts-wearing perps in the dead of winter, or when it's very cold out. Or they have arseholes with no jackets meandering around (looking like complete morons) when it's freezing out, or just otherwise plain underdressed for the winter. I can't imagine why they'd want to suffer like this just to get a reaction out of me.

AJH said...

Answer to: Having the gangstalkers take off their jackets...

There are clothing interactions that persist past wearing the garment it seems. Hence these modified public strip tease acts, as well as the jacket half on ludicrousness. The baggy clothes, aka grunge wear, is also important at certain times; I suspect that having more of the garment fabric, and not all of it touching one's skin, is aiding the perp cause. The shorts in winter thing is hilarious sometimes, and they pretend to not feel the drafty effects of it too. Thanks again.