Sunday, May 27, 2018

Dude Flush Gangstalking Tactics

05-22-2018
What is it about going to the supermarket that has the perps covering me with these flushes of dudes? Said dudes at the supermarket; first tail me individually, and then split off and one even paralleled me in the next aisle just when I thought I ditched the fucker who was hot on my ass. (Not many walk as fast as I do, but his asshole was game for some reason). Another in the produce section was on my ass, and then another takes over. Not quite "tag teaming", but same concept. Improbably, they then they cluster together at the same section (bacon), each pretending to be shopping independently, within 4' of each other for 30 seconds and then they split apart. I call it the "come together" gangstalking move. Then one o them "happens" split off to perform a lead-ahead stalking to the location I was headed next, the cooler cases for the coconut milk. Then a reprise of at least one of them again when at the checkout. Does this shit ever end? And why the flush of dudes, and this ridiculous choreography? And who are these fuckers; trained-up shills just for this event, or long term operatives? My inclination is the former, given how well they fit in with the general ill-dressed populace, and the gut-prone comportment, but one never knows. And besides, if they can insert thoughts so readily, my initial notion could be flat wrong. In Victoria, the Gangstalking Capital of Canada, there was a more obvious component of males without a day job, and were more dressed up, but not here, casual wear being the biggest cover going.

05-24-2018
Shoot thinning in the vineyard all this week. Mostly sunny, save the odd spatter of rain or a thunderstorm threat. My work colleague is going to Boston for five days, to "see a friend" she says. Not bad for a small town single mother to have these contacts, but it does seem odd to me. Because Boston is a heavy perp center, is it possible that this woman going as some kind of surrogate for me? All the more peculiar is that she is flying back via Montreal, a city of infamy when it comes to psychiatric research, especially in the 1950-60's. So terrible were the "treatments" (tortures), that the Allen Memorial Center destroyed all the records in 1972. Then this MKULTRA related appalling atrocity of Dr. Ewen Cameron and his staff became publicly known in 1974. And I lived in Montreal in 1956-7, and 1958-59, and I have nearly no memories of this time, even if I was beginning to make long term memories in 1956. So anyhow, is this woman doing a surrogate tour?

It wouldn't be the first time that someone I know has gone traveling on my "behalf" as I see it. My perp abetting mother, ex and daughter did a tour together of Ottawa, Montreal, Washington DC and NYC a few years ago, (about 2013), and none of them ever lived or had any prior connection to Ottawa, Washington DC and NYC. My daughter hadn't been to any of these cities before, and the same for the ex. But in the case of Ottawa, the ex had a "friend" (again), someone I hadn't known about in the 20 years we were married, and said "friend" put them up and toured them around in Ottawa. In the case of Ottawa, psychiatric research atrocities were also performed there too, contemporaneous with Montreal of the Dr. Ewen Cameron brain trashing games. Anyhow, it is just idle speculation that I might of been in Ottawa during my memory deleted years of 1956-59.

Though the "friend" label has been used in the past to cover for actions of others who didn't seem like friends at all. Back in 07-2003, the landlady had "friends" stay over at her place, who turned out to be at least five dudes living upstairs, up to some kind of hi-jinks with masers and plasma beams, as my basement suite was riddled with this visual activity. This was especially noticeable at night when in bed, as all these plasma (light) beams came shooting down from above. Once they nailed me in the toe with a beam that was immediately painful, enough to yell at the assholes, and then I experienced this sudden flood of thought, as in planted thought, that they were very sorry. It was most strange, as I don't normally get this kind of reciprocation or empathy from them; its all one way, and its all about riling me up and pissing me off. (Or traumatizing and terrorizing me for the initial year of this assault onset, 04-2002 to 2003.) I think it was the only instance where I got some kind of "feedback" from them in the form of a emotional notion. Back in the high-Fuckover days of 2002-2003, I sometimes had some telepathic verbal engagement with them, and additionally I also got the odd dull (not painful) acknowledging sensation in my toe.

Back to surrogate travelers; my perp-abetting mother, ex and daughter are on a week tour of Iceland at present. Again, none of them have been before, and have no direct heritage there. As to why they would go in May when it is still perishing cold there I have no idea, but a lot of their travels haven't made much sense, per above.There is a geographic component to this harassment as well when they want others to travel in my footsteps, though in this case I haven't been there, ever. Not even a flight stop-over.

05-26-2018
I changed vineyards to work closer to town, and it is much closer to Naramata Rd, and is fraught with a whole lot more road noise. Enough that I don't bother to put on my headphones as the noise will come pummeling through the music I am listening to. As always, there is only so much music they will let me listen to before they disrupt it. Prior to this, I had listened to music via my DAP and headphones for most of the day, some four days in succession. Sure, there were the odd interruptions from the boss man and my co-worker, but these were minimal. And too, occasional noise insertions from the adjacent house building, tractor work, and it almost goes without saying, overhead aircraft activity, usually helicopters.

A parcel pickup after work, and what big gangstalk at the PO. Another ski jacket purchase, getting them on sale at this time of year. But it was too small, so then a later parcel return attempt, but I missed the PO opening hours by 5 minutes. More gangstalking silliness there too, along with a another another dude flush, plus a tail in, a tail out, the kids strangely playing outside the store etc.

And what is with all the male guts these days? Its just plain disgusting.

05-27-2018
I got nailed with a 2 hour nap attack tonight, and am rather groggy to say the least. Again, it followed reading a book. I thought I was past this imposition, as I haven't had an evening nap for a week, but no, they got me good tonight. There were some momentary awakenings, when a half hour into it, I looked at the clock, and thought "good, just a short nap". Then again after an hour, this time thinking "glad it was only an hour". Before I knew it, it was two hours later and feeling so very groggy. The perps have had me on this "split shift" sleeping schedule for at least three months now, and I was finally beginning to shake it this past week, but not tonight.

Another day (Sunday) at the road noise vineyard, with of course, the infernal HD motorcycle noise added in, at least 10x. One employee at the tasting room even came out "for a walk" she said, and stopped by for a chat, as she had done some vineyard work at her former employer. Apparently she is writing up this in a online newsletter as part of her promotional duties. Interestingly, she "happened" to come by just when there was a mid-row change in varietals. (The only row of about 50 like this where the plantings are both for one row). And given the past flushes of work colleagues and/or stalking stunts when we changed blocks (and varietals) last year, it just seems to be a big deal for the perps. Not quite as activity bound as when I get to the end of a row, any row (i.e. direction change), but a big deal enough to crank up the stalking silliness some. As to what the perps get from this I don't know, but perhaps there is a "vibe" (aka, energetic resonance) particular to one plant variety versus another, and they want to detect this interaction between a given plant variety and me. Of a given varietal and clone, all the plants are genetically identical. Interestingly, the regular vineyard has multiple clones of the same variety, e.g., merlot xyz clone versus merlot abc clone, and for three other varietals as well. Go figure. They definitely have been working me up for multiple varietals and clones of the same varietals for the past six years of this vineyard laboring gig. The 2012-2014 vineyard was 99% all one clone of the pinot blanc varietal.

Enough for a posting for the week, and to call this one done.

Monday, May 21, 2018

Biographies -Why?

05-16-2018
Why do the perps so like me to read biographies or view biographic cinema? I don't know, but I just finished reading "Frida", a biography of Frida Kahlo, a well known Mexican artist who died in July 13, 1954. And made known in that wonderful biopic, one of my all time favorite films, "Frida". I have viewed this some 8x on DVD, and then it mysteriously froze on a frame, and so I purchased a Blu Ray version, yet to be seen for more than 10 minutes of it, and has remained in my disc player for two months now.

Interestingly, she was born on July 6, (1907) same birthday of the year as me, and died one week after I was born. Anyone out there who has thoughts on the spirit/soul connection of this event to me? I suppose well known people die every day somewhere, and too, births of unrelated and distant children will follow, so I really have no idea as to why Frida Kahlo's persona has been scripted into this controlled theme show.

When all this abuse torrent came down in 2002, and in 2003, I did see the film "Frida" twice (unusual for me for a cinematic offering), and came to know of this artist for the first time. This was also notable as the assholes had me in illegal incarceration back then, when it seems they had all manner of high expectations, hence the intense level of outrageous abuse and gangstalking at the time. Although kept, I had some freedom to go about in the afternoons and saw the film at a nearby cinema. Fast forward to about a month ago, I picked up a used copy of "Frida", the well researched book by Hayden Herrera, and became acquainted with this out sized and vibrant personality all the more. I simply cannot imagine any other artist that suffered more physically and emotionally than her, though to be fair, I don't know a whole lot about art history.

I did determine, one instance from the book, another from the Youtube documentary, that two of her students in separate incidents each felt her presence from behind, "like an electric charge". As to whether that constitutes perp intrusion at the time, one can only speculate. If true, the perps took another step up the imposed cruelty ladder, as she suffered terribly, but countered with her indomitable energy and resilience.

I don't have any Mexican genealogical connections, though I did meet a number of Mexicans in my farm jobs, 2008-2011. In other words, I am at a loss to explain why the perps have injected this interesting and vital personality (Frida Kahlo) into my existence, even if through film, text and music. And why the Mexican connection, as I have never been there. (My landlord couple went there for a month in 02-2018, interestingly). This is all for the record only, and unless there is some other developments, I don't expect to bring it up again, though I will also view the Youtube documentary sometime soon. Then, hopefully, my Frida Kahlo interest, (read, planted theme), will subside.

05-21-2018
A long weekend here in Canada, a week before Memorial Day weekend in the US. I did two days of shoot thinning this weekend at the 2012-2014 employer's vineyard, thinking that I was going to be bottling. Instead, I got stiffed with the same job as at the regular Mon-Fri employer. Whatever; shoot thinning is a singular occupation, just you and the vine tending, so it is optimum for putting on the music player and headphones and getting all day music listening. I get plenty of overhead aircraft during shoot thinning (and listening to music), the noise getting pushed through the headphones. And the odd tractor in the vineyard too. But otherwise, I get to spin through my music, and get a tan. This past week has been good for that, if not overly so. I seem my initial tan is peeling on my back, even after all winter tan salon preparation.

And more tanning this holiday Monday; unrelenting sunshine, ergo, get a skyclad tan in the back country after taking a hike to get out of the way of any viewing public. That didn't stop two low altitude aircraft flying past, but for the most part it was at least a dozen high altitude aircraft that kept up the overflight show. And no contrails interestingly, usually an excuse for creating cloud cover and messing up the sunlight intensity. Not today for some reason.

One perturbance on the hiking trail was the cattle, which are released to roam the region around the trails. Which translates to the bull getting pissed at the hikers and forcing them back. I took an alternate non-trailed route inbound and that was OK. Out-bound, the cattle moved to cover more of the trail and I had to parallel the trail more to avoid them. Don't ask me what I would of done if the bull had come at me, especially out in the open.

Anyhow, all was well, though when departing on the trail, I got some close-behind gangstalkers, who just "happened" to finish their putzing around at their vehicle just when I was setting off. Even with a 15lb backpack, including a light weight cot, I outpaced them. But no ordinary vehicle they had, but one of those wretchedly underpowered VW Vanegons, a Westphalia (camperized version). And with prior exposure to;, before getting to the trail head, only 100m ahead, they put on two of them passing by on the highway. Then lo, another one in the parking lot, from which my tailing gangstalkers emanated. Although there isn't many VW campers (and vans) around, they are still very popular among the gangstalking community as the engine sits in the rear, behind the rear wheels and would rotate the opposite direction as viewed from the rear to normally configured vehicles. As a former owner of a VW van, I came to detest this underpowered vehicle, its handling and maintenance hassles. That the perp-abetting wife was so keen on them despite my severe objections gives me a more jaundiced perspective on what that was all about.

Yesterday, another obvious gangstalking stunt; the lead-ahead vehicle heading to the bank ATM after hours. Like WTF; I haven't had these more obvious gangstalkings since about 2012 when I moved from that gangstalk shithole, Victoria BC, to where I presently live.

A 10 album download evening last night, which includes cleaning up the files and metadata, no mean feat. That I hadn't downloaded an album for 3 months is baffling, given my interest in music. On top of that, I have four CD's I haven't cracked for a month for some curious reason. Normally I get right onto them, hear them out, and then copy the files to my music disc library. Funny how I get these spates of protracted inaction in the face of what I usually do.

Tomorrow, the ex, my daughter and mother are getting on a aircraft tomorrow and heading to Iceland on a guided tour for a week. My perp-abetting mother was the instigator in all of this, even if she cannot walk far. To the point that she is covering the tab even. A trip that they also made four years ago was to Ottawa, Montreal, NYC, and Washington DC. As to what those four cities mean to my perp-abetting mother I have no idea. I consign all of their trips to ongoing perp direction, they all being surrogates for me, given the perps' compelling interest in geographic locations, and certain cities of iniquity. (That is, nonconsensual human experimentation of children was undertaken in the Ottawa, Montreal and Washington DC). Only Montreal is known to me personally, but as mentioned many times, the perps wiped my recall when aged 2 to 5, so I may have other geographic residencies than what I know of, and for perp directed nefarious purposes.

Enough said for the week, and onto another.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Are Shrinks Shills?

05-08-2018
By way of the title, I am engaging in some speculation here, and no, I don't want to hear about a paranoia diagnosis by way of these idle reflections.

But I have my reasons; that is, I "happened" to be working with someone at my employer of 2012-14, who started there a month ago. I was there because my regular employer didn't need me for a week, the second time in three weeks. And it so "happened" that this guy was ADD (or ADHD), a hyperactive one, and likely never to get out of that problematic behavioral rut and get a decent job unfortunately. A moderate to serious case, and he doesn't take any medications at the moment. But as it so "happened" he visited the same outrageous quack that I did, in late summer of 2017, and I saw this same quack-doctor, in 10-2017. That I came in with quantifiable data, a brain scan and a dopamine test, and got totally shanked and obstructed was detailed in a prior blog posting. I recently launched a missive back via RateMD and excoriated the quack, though I could see I wasn't the first.

Anyhow, this co-worker of a week at my former full time employer also got rebuffed for any kind of ADD diagnosis and got nowhere with this same mofo-doctor. Said doctor didn't even ask any diagnostic questions as to whether this patient actually had ADD (or ADHD). Which begs the question; what is this doctor playing at? Is he selecting for certain patient types so he can pass them onto drug testing trials for money, or has he a particular bias in not treating ADD? And assuming this co-worker is not a TI, then just why is it that he got turned around with no medication treatment, when in my opinion, he needs it. Or, are shrinks lined up with the Thems, who decide in advance who gets treated adequately or not? I don't know, but in my experience (though a TI where everything seems to be arranged in advance), if there ever was an aberrant cadre of mendacious (mostly, not all), fools in the medical profession, it is the psychiatric practitioners. And yes, I need a larger sample set of others getting similar results from other doctors for this to be any more than speculation. Hold the diagnoses please.

But we do know that psychiatry has had its history of protected outrageous criminality; a case that still sits in my craw, and may have some personal intrusion in my life when I Iived in Montreal as a child aged 2-3 y.o, and then 4-5 y.o., is that of the infamous Dr Ewen Cameron (27pp) of Montreal's McGill University. That he brain trashed patients using no researched protocol from the 1940's-1960s is on the public record. Not widely acknowledged is that he also worked on children (for some curious reason), which included an orphanage in the basement. These would be children of the Duplessis Orphans, another contemporary chapter of infamy in Canadian history. And suplying his "patients", uniformed experimental subjects more like, LSD in the 1950's, presumably getting his supply from the same outfit that he got his funding, Crooks In Action.

05-09-2018
A rainy start to the day, hence starting an hour later than normal. The perps like to change up start times for regular gigs, and probably not just for me either. Those epic traffic jams, rapid transit problems etc. forcing people to be late for work just might not be all that random as one thinks.

Vineyard work in two locations today; de-suckering, move vineyards, then weeding and hoeing the row, the three of us, one being the part time woman who is pretty, though she doesn't flaunt it, and is rather shy. Or at least, is adverse to making much contact with me, but seems more comfortable with the boss man.

05-10-2018
A whole day of de-suckering, as in bending over and cutting off those shoots coming from the trunk. Additionally, there are old stubs where former workers of past years didn't cut them flush to the trunk for some reason, and are perfect harbor for more suckers. Some even were missed, as there are 2'+ of canes running along the ground. This would be a big problem if they used herbicide, but at this vineyard they don't as it is organic.

Then a two hour nap attack this evening after reading, which immediately followed when getting back home. This perp need to render me into a sleep state after reading for say, 30 min., has been prevalent all these past 4 months. They even nailed me with a nap attack on Monday this week, but only for an hour (unusually short) so I could make yoga in time. How thoughtful of them.

As is often the case, listening to music on my headphones got interfered with; the boss man was banging on steel posts, the tractor wasn't far away, the rain came on, and then by the afternoon, I didn't have my audio gear at hand when the weather cleared up. No music listening goes according to plan; interruption with noise or even obstructing it for a time is given. And I suspect the reason is that listening to music creates dopamine, and if there is one consistent theme in this 16 years of abusive insanity, it is the perp's need to regulate this vital hormone and neurotransmitter. It isn't enough that I am ADD (low dopamine situation); I have to be fucked with all the more and up and down regulated per Psychopathic Nonconsensual Human Experimentation plan. And any and all treatment (e.g shrink visit) must be blocked or thwarted. Thanks a fucking bunch assholes.

An some strange dreams last night; the ML person was featured in them, something they haven't done in the 16 years of this assault. Yes, I might get 200+ planted images or interactions per day of this person, though we have never met, (though seen once live on a hiking trail of all places), but never until last night did this person show up in my dreams. I have had the most strangest dream invasions since this show began 04-2002, from long past IT personnel, from IT projects that I was never on, and many other characters for whom I have no idea why they would show up 20-30 years later. But last night crossed a new psychic threshold in terms of inserting this person into my existence.

05-12-2018
Saturday, and working at the 2012-14 employer to help out. I thought I would resume work on his tasting room landscaping, but instead, worked with the ADHD guy on trellis wires and irrigation repair.

05-13-2018
Sunday, and another day of work to keep the employer's winery ambitions going. Even my co-workers agree he should just stick to grape growing and make enough wine for himself, instead of attempting to go into commercial wine making. Long on vision, and short on specifics is the short summary. But as one co-worker (of a different employer) opined, "I'm just the clown, not the cowboy".

And two days of unrelenting sunshine, and another two to go, per forecast. Out with the shorts, and to get some on-job tanning done. Though I find it most curious that I am not getting as brown skinned as fast I was last year. Normally the perps in their sunlight related games have me get a tan, and then (seemingly) have the weather be cloudy to prevent immediate follow-on tanning. Given that it is mid-May, perhaps they are aren't yet into full on sunlight exposure games with the usual litany of on-off tanning opportunities, especially when it comes to weekends.

Enough of the show for a week, and onto another.

Sunday, May 06, 2018

Skipping a Week

05-01-2018
And what is happening such that a general malaise is encroaching enough to cause me to be indifferent to not posting for a week? I don't know, but it doesn't look good, and who knows where its going. In other words, I am getting ground down, dullified and nullified as I see it. Or are the perps backing off to some extent?

I am planting lavender plants this week at a tasting room renovation, that of my employer of 2012-14. The regular vineyard employer dropped me this week, citing that they are "all caught up". Give me a break; as the only regular employee for 22 acres of vineyard, having had an extra guy (thankfully, or else we wouldn't be caught up) for the last two months, I find this fatuous at best. Yes, there is a slack time between tying down and waiting for the new  shoots to get to the first tucking wire, but there is always something to do on a vineyard. How about removing those thousands of useless stakes that have been there for 10 years? Anyhow, I live in such a managed bullshit show I have long given up on anyone articulating the truth. Even one TI whom I respect, and is the real thing, stopped talking to me a few years ago as I "wasn't activist enough". Expect me to believe that? Or did she expect me to join the 9/11 truth activists for some obscure reason? You know, join a bigger parade, and somehow expect legitimacy from it.

But there is something about planting plants the perps seem to like me to do, and I have no idea why. Planting vines has been common since 2012 when I started the vineyard work, and I have planted some vines somewhere every year. Maybe there is some psychic energy transference they have deemed to be, and expect me to be the bellwether for its' detection. I don't care, and all I want is to be left alone. Of interest, the above mentioned "extra guy" is going tree planting this week until mid-July when he has a lay-off before going tree spacing. Hardly a coincidence, but he has been a great help in getting our vineyard work done just before bud break. So while he is tree planting some 200 miles away, I am planting lavender plants for a tasting room landscaping display.

And a rare Monday off yesterday, and a visit to the specialty grocery store where I haven't been for 4 weeks, when I was once a 2x/week customer. The store is getting transformed as part of a larger chain, and nearly everything is getting moved around to great confusion. They have almost finished their renovations, and have succeeded in nixing the one product I would go there for, cooked free-run chicken. Well done, so to speak.

At this specialty grocery store they had the obligatory "just standing there" stalker outside, with the cell phone gazing feint. Immediately beforehand I had dropped off my glass recyclables at the depot, and there were six Ford Escapes in the short two blocks. Which is my ride since 2017 when my mother gave her vehicle to me. All were the same body design, before Ford gave it the squished rear look, following Nissan's design folly for some reason.

They must of had a least 15 helicopters covering me on my 4 outings over the day, and they even put on my vineyard co-worker of 2012 in a rare appearance. Not that she said hello, but was there at the grocery store checkout in the adjacent checkout line, while the fart in front of me fucked up and had to run back to the aisles to get some product that could be scanned so he could get his coupon cashed. (Checkout disruptions are very common since all this came down in 04-2002). It seemed hokey to me, even if a long time coupon avoider. But as the perps like to hound my ass over financial transactions, having someone pay with a coupon instead of a debit card is endlessly fascinating for them, even after 16 years of intense overt abuse on top of 47 years of surreptitiously hounding my ass with the regular involvement of family, employers and all others it seems in retrospect.

Said former female vineyard co-worker of 2012 also did a one-time cameo appearance at yoga after she came back from a year at the University of Chicago. We were instructed to get blocks at one corner of the room before class started, and there she was sitting on the floor behind a pillar with all the class milling around her, retrieving these brown cork blocks. I said "hi", and she returned the greeting, and then I asked her how Chicago was (that is, a 10 month Master degree program), and she gave me a grim "fine", and that was the end of our "happen-chance" encounter. And while I saw her out jogging once in the neighborhood of the same employer (near where she lives), I hadn't seen her in person since the 2014 yoga class. When the perps pull these "coincidences", I take this to be a meaningful and concerted event for them.

I suppose shuttling me between employers has also been advantageous for the perps, especially a former three year employer. I worked the weekend with their high school replacement (and gave her a ride home both days), and worked today and the rest of this week with one other new employee. I suppose it is all about getting to meet, and work with, the current employees, while I am a former employee of three years, 2012-2014. No wonder the owner laid me off for no reason in late 2014; all to enact these reprise games with my successors at the same job site. And why has it taken another four years for this to go down? Sounds like the perps have a long running plan, and don't give a shit about when it gets to fruition.

And yoga was another tattoo show; this woman with horrendous and dense tattoos down her arm was on my L side two mats away, and the late arriving only other dude "happened" to settle down within 2' of me when he could of moved to more open space 6' away. That he wore a shirt that was of the same fugly tattoo colors didn't go unnoticed. If I hate the sight of tattoos, why in the fuck do I have a multi-billion dollar budgeted organization pulling this around me? And why are tattoos so featured on celebrities these days?

And why are my dreams so invaded of late? Very detailed dreams of being on a navy ship of some kind with narrow passage ways, ladders and hatches etc. Then another night, some kind of IT dream, unrelated to my prior career they fucked me out of, and again, it was very specific as to the details. I just don't know where these are coming from in conventional terms.

05-02-2018
Another evening time nap attack, some two hours worth, leaving me in a wiped out state for another half hour, and upon awakening, dealing with the infernal leg cramps I have been getting for the last two years. Then onto the SOF supermarket, and even if a low traffic evening, the assholes were all over me. Headlights on me in the parking lot for when I exited my vehicle, then an Asian stalker looking at his cell phone while walking ahead of me and then stopping at the entrance. Entering SOF is a big deal, and I get no end of criss-crossing Fuckwits there. Then more coverage in the store, the obvious tag-team shit. Three or four of them taking turns, and lo, one gets to accompany me at the checkout.

05-03-2018
Another day of planting lavender in landscape fabric, this heavy duty plastic woven weed protection cloth some 4' wide. My co-worker of the last three days is ADD, and we have many discussions over this topic. And as it "happens", he also saw the same outrageous quack I did back in 10-2017, and to a similar pointless outcome. The question of late is do I roast the shit out of that quack on Rate MD, now having written up a concise and pithy summary of that inglorious and futile visit. Which really begs the question; why did the perps send me to this fucking asshole; for an exercise in futility, to yet again make the point of interfering with my medical care, or just as a plain disruptive stunt?

Another 2 hour nap attack this evening: I "thought" I could pull it together after an hour, but suffered a reprise wipe-out such that I could not get up, and instead, it became a two hour event. And although I have finished the book "Selected by Extraterrestrials" by William Tompkins, the nap attacks have a similar pattern. I am now reading "In Denial; Historians, Communism and Espionage" by Haynes and Klehr, a well researched book and scathing indictment of the socialist ("Old Left" and communism) promoters and historians who fronted for this "ism" in spite of the mass murderous habits of Lenin and Stalin, and feigned surprise when Nikita Kruschev made the (general) homicidal habits of Stalin known to the world in 1956. And still these "activist"or "radical" historians continued to dress up, obfuscate, deny, apologize and otherwise avoiding the re-evaluations of the motives of the Soviet empire and the concomitant human tragedy and wrapped their perfidious and devious analysis in the usual "see no evil" ideological rationalizations. The book indicates that 20 million people were killed under Stalin's reign of terror, and that does not include WWII when another 30 million Soviets were killed. I just find it appalling that we have the historians who just don't get it, and continue to dress up the murderous pig that was the Soviet state of 1920-1954. The Russian repressive ways aren't yet over, but to simply deny such historic atrocities makes them culpable, even if they lounge in cushy academic jobs in North America. Or sit around drawing pensions thereof.

Furthermore, it just appalls me that this apologist mentality, in the face of long running and horrendous state sponsored mass murder, even exists in the human psyche, never mind among ostensibly responsible and analytical academics who write this up in their political journals. But I suppose, the equally murderous regime of Pol Pot in Cambodia (CIA sponsored apparently) was another, though shorter example, where our supposed media just plain failed (somehow) to report on this in any timely way. It makes me wonder if the media isn't just some kind of manipulated shit show, where some massacres get to run for longer, and others don't. Another example is Rwanda, where it was plain that the UN was willfully dragging their ass on on connecting with the reality as reported on the ground, which was extensively reported by Romeo Dallaire in his book "Shake Hands with the Devil". So just who is deciding on human massacre reportage anyhow? Never mind for the moment as to the genesis of this awfulness, or that its incipient stages just never get stopped.

And continuing the ongoing book reading interference, the perp assholes had me lose my page before I got reading again, and I had to resume from a point in the book that I remembered. In other words, forced re-reading is just hilarious to the sick asses that run this show. And too, my viticulture worker friend (always a circumspect term), a former co-worker, phoned just before my butt hit the seat to start reading this book.

My daughter gave me a few days notice that she was running in a marathon in Oregon this past weekend. She never communicates much, and this bullshit started about six months before the Fuckover, when the perps first went berserk/overt in 04-2002. Whatever; I was glad for any contact, and I did track her race progress via an app on my phone that day, while working. I sent her a congratulatory text when her finish was confirmed by the race app. (A 9:47 pace for crissakes). Two days later, I get an email from the ex with attached pictures at the event, boyfriend there too. Obviously I wasn't invited, as I would of got months of advance notice, but that is how the perps manage my relationship with my only child. I note for the first time that my ex's new married surname is "Johns", a rather ironic twist that simply cannot be coincidence. It is the same name as her son, as it is mine, and so in plural form, her new married surname suggests both of us. Who scripts this ridiculousness? Not that I am up on her relationship life in any way, but as it seems, it was a 3 year run-up before she got married, to someone (whom I first met at my perp abetting mother's place in 01-2015) who has this ironic surname, and of course, is appropriate long-term relationship (and age matched) material for her. Unbelievable to me, and way off the coincidence meter IMHO. As in "hammering the peg", where on analog meters of old, the minimum and maximum ranges on the gauge had a small projecting metal peg to stop the needle on the meter dial from physically heading into a range beyond the instrument's analytical capability.

And why are the masers now more prevalent than "normal"; these floating wispy or sporadic black or greyish blobs, dots etc. that keep showing up in my vision, even as I type this. Most often I divert my gaze, only to have them re-establish within a few seconds. Or else I look at something completely different and they set up again. And the masers have a phenomenal ability to track the very words on the page, exactly where I am looking. It was especially notable today when I was reading a book outside on the first sunny day off this year. Well done abuse I say. Now just fuck off; after 16 years of this utterly insane shit, still no let up.

05-04-2018
Working on the lavender planting for the employer's tasting room today. My co-worker is one of those contrary workers; he seems to fuck off with the tools I need, be in the wrong place, or otherwise inadvertently slow up the job. Interestingly though, he went to the same shrink I did in around the same time, fall-2017, and got nowhere with his ADD treatment, same result as me. He also thought the fucker was nuts, as did I. So... is this shrink turning away ADD patients for his own purposes to get more the patients he wants, possibly so he can pass them onto drug testing outfits, or is this part of a concerted but covert initiative to obstruct ADD patients? I don't know or care; the net outcome is the same; I and he both got screwed by the same asshole with the same complaint.

05-05-2018
A Saturday, and a rare day off as I have been going nearly non-stop for 7 weeks. A haircut, and then a leg wax were scheduled, and then onto the Ford dealership to get the summer tires on. And summer has broke finally, and so the spandex shorts come out. I even got a little tanning done in the backyard, though the perps can "fix" this by having the landlord spray 2-4D on the lawn, and the awful off-gassing pong goes on for three weeks. Two years ago the landlord told me in advance, though last year they didn't at all for some curious reason.

05-06-2018
Sunday, I worked with my vineyard friend (sort of) and another guy, and finished pruning after five hours. It became sunny, and I later tanned some. I also got to attend to my laundry after yesterday's forced forget when I had all evening to do so. Perhaps the perps wanted to send me to the other laundromat and get stalked by the fat dude who seemed to be so restless and just had to stalk my ass. And lo, he concluded my putting his laundry in the dryer next to mine for crissakes. Have I mentioned that laundry is a big perp harassment theme, and it plain doesn't matter what detergent, what combination of clothes or washers and dryers I use, there is always more combinations and permutations for them to test.

And why am I getting rendered to be so grumpy of late? Added into the mix are more things going wrong, but for some reason the assholes are turning up the heat. Adding to the piss-offs too, is more forced "forgets", and over regular things I do and somehow forget for the first time. It is just plain infuriating, now more than ever. Perhaps this whole deal is to force a new round of supplements and medications, another rich testing theme for the Thems.

Anyhow, I should get this posted for the two weeks that it has been.