Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Fractious Breakfast

A 0700h get-up with prior noise and me plugging my ears while still horizontal. Which is like how they sent me off to sleep after an hour of jerking me around, having me hold my right hand to my temple to ameliorate the temple pain they were invoking. They would bring on the pain within five seconds of a new hand position, so the (managed, per mind fuck) solution was to keep moving my head and my hand to avert "lock on", changing the dynamic enough to avert the pain. I haven't had one of these for some years, but one can be sure the real agenda was to have me do exactly that, and the chi energy off the ends of my fingers and from my hands likely had a role in creating more interference with neural energies. And as the temple region, and the interior temporal lobe region seems to be the big research interest as that is where the amygdala tissue resides, last night's abuse on the end of a high Fuckover Monday fits the pattern. And they zapped me beforehand as well, coordinated with an overhead thump. How many times have I said how much I fucking loathe being zappped, and they still don't get it.

There were some extra vivid prior dreams before waking up, and I was even allowed to recall a person's first name afterward, though of no known association in real life. And then when replacing my underwear they like to pull down in the night they had my hand slip off and snap back, and that was the opening salvo in a long running rage-ifcation through the breakfast and morning hygeine routine. Keeping the Monday abuse running it seems; faked touches, vision impairment for both cereal and coffee handling (both brown colored substances, note), then putting a hole in the bread for the crumbly coconut butter to fall through, then streaking the plate with the jam that strangely flicked about, and later in the bathroom, pulling their long running stunt of whacking me in the dick with the towel. I have a particular style of towelling down after every shower of controlling the end of the towel to prevent these extra-conventional kinetic abuses, and just when the towel was still, but four inches away, they whacked me anyway. I was fucking screaming infuriated over that, as the game of abuse and countermeasure was violated by escalating the depravity. Naturally, all my defences are compromised, and I was made to be unknowing of the danger of the towel end at that moment. Once, without a towel in hand, they whacked me in the dick with some unseen force field, and that too was cause for a round of screaming fury that won't be ever forgiven until the fucker's head is pancake shaped after applying some needed "realignment" with a baseball bat. Study that brain material you fucking asshole, and leave mine alone.

Once online, the physical temptations seem to be lessened, but the vision fucking can continue, along with noisestalking from above, not to mention the infernal typo jerkarounds that go on. They had me studying keyboards again, something that I did 2.5 years ago to get this Fujitsu membrane board, but now they seem to want me to get a key switch board. Like WTF; no job, this bullshit disability income that is always $200 to $400 short every month, and the likelihood that it will cease this year, and I am still sabotaged in all the Oracle DBA study work I want to do. My mother hinted at no IT job until the fall, and I can take that as a given, so what is the deal in the six month interim? Berry picking was a total jerkaround last year as they wanted to keep me out of the sun, for the fewer days they wanted me in it, and then laid me off in mid-season saying they didn't have enough work. It was the start of the Mexican comparison/interaction it seemed, as a crew of Mexicans were hired for the season, and having me work among them seemed to be a big part of it. Later in the fall at a different farm, and picking vegetables mostly, there were three Mexicans I sometimes worked with, so it wasn't too much of a surprise that this repeated for two weeks in Feburary thi year for daffodil picking. One week of work, the Mexicans came, and one more week of work (albeit keeping them mostly separated and further away), and then I was laid off again. It is fucking absurd that I cannot be allowed to have a job while the sickos piss around with staging Mexicans and other brown skinned races around me, now closing in on eight years of this beserk abuse. Go fuck your own.

Last fall, they even hired a negro laborer from Montreal at the farm for crissakes. Like WTF; no end of labor locally, and even some negroes, some of whom I worked with and talked to, and then they bring one from Montreal to work on a farm in rural Saanich. But as I have mentioned many times, there is a strong Montreal component to this abuse, as I had lived in Montreal for two years out of my first five. Most of that time has been deleted from my memories, but the ongoing gangstalking freakshow parade, as consistent as it is relentless, indicates a number of subconcious traumatization associations from that era which relate to clinical, interpersonal and possibly sexual abuse. The latter is slowly emerging, or more like, allowed to come into focus; more hints of late, e.g. crotch grabbing males in public, and even a woman doing this yesterday for crissakes. The sickos also like to meter my few glimpses of myself in the mirror when in the bathroom with no clothes on, and this has been very consistent of late, so it does make me wonder what that is all about. Ms. C of the Story liked to do certain things I didn't find comfortable, and I suspect this too might have been managed down to my every reaction at the time. Regular readers have read all this before; am I repeating myself too much?

A cognitive fuckover in attempting to penetrate the Linux file system earlier. Do l load Oracle from root or from a user id? Seeing that the episode was about pissing me off and stopping me from getting on with what I had intended, I am totally pissed that I am not allowed to load the software that I want, when I want. Never mind the cognitive sabotage. Just more imposed futility.

The all day shut-in and then the extra gangstalking attention when I get out to go to the bus for my evening course. A parade of fat girls, shiftless males, dayglo (clothed) dudes, and a few other freaks. On the outbound bus I sat in my usual rear-most  driver side corner and the bus filled up with the litany of freaks, again, one blind man with a seeing eye dog and two negroes among the motley crew. Then with all the seats nearly filled up, I get this strange E. Indian woman with no chin and her mouth hanging open, clasping a marimba type instrument, a wood box with some steel plucking tines on it, and she sits down extra close. The rear seat is a bus-wide bench and she sits near me, and then turns her back to me to show her brown backpack to me, on her white puffy jacket. As soon as I could, I snagged the bench seat over the rear wheel well to get away from this freak. I also ended up avoiding the sight of the dreadlock haired couple, most strange that both had their hair matted in cords. The only downside was having the Map Tube Dude across from me, legs splayed wide with the full 30" map tube facing me broadside. Said dude normally takes the 2135h bus back with me, and lo, if class didn't finish early, and lo, if he wasn't there for the return trip on the 2105h bus, a fellow traveller to be sure.

Other oddities in the class were two students near me who weren't there tonight, my behind me and L. of me neighbors, thought that is for the good owing to their respective propensities of making sneezing and pen cap clicking noises. But instead, the E. Indian to the R. of me did at least 35 min. of sneezing and snorting with white kleenex (a very common gangstalker prop), in hand before then end of class. We are running an extra class this week to make up time, but we started 15 min. late today, and left 30 min. early. Last class also ended 30 min. early, so WTF?

Then the inbound bus had the cell phoning gangstalking E. Indian woman nearby, with a sleazoid E. Indian male talking to her and arranging himself to be blocking me from seeing her, and talking the entire 25 min. bus ride. This alignment of the male, blocking the female, both E. Indians wasn't too surprising given their above mentioned gangstalking tonight. Both wore black, and he had his back facing toward me when the seat was 90 degrees offset. These "lean overs" with back twists are becoming more frequent of late, and to have the gangstalker talking the entire time is also extra energetic I suspect. Behind me I had the cell phoning dude, giving me the stare for some reason when I got up to leave with a posse of five of them around me.

Let's see; my brother is married to an E. Indian, over ten years now, and my other brother hangs out with a Thai woman. When the assholes incarcerated me they had an E. Indian steal my clothes from the dryer, and when I cruised in for breakfast he was wearing my black shirt. I raised the issue with the nurse and got it back, but I was rather amazed at this transparent stunt at the time. Now I know; the perps have a brown color problem, and having brown skin makes it all the more problematic. So what does it have to do with me for crissakes?

One of the very first abductions in the US by aliens was on a mixed race couple, Benny and Betty Hill, he negro, and she Cacausian, back in 1961. So if this is connected to the perps current harassment and abuse campaign, which I think it is, they have been dicking around close to 50 fucking years with mixed races and skin color interactions, (whatever they are) and still won't come out of the closet. Instead, after they finished jamming multi-race children in cages in 1956 to 59, (The Indian Lake Project), the assholes decide that abduction of mixed race adults is what they would do next. Who knows what covert games continued until now, but what is so fucking important that the perps cannot get their sick asses out of the closet and start cooperative research to expedite their agenda?

Enough ranting, and onto plant nursery visitations tomorrow with my mother, which should be a gangstalking nightmare for all the road traffic that will likely erupt.


Anonymous said...

Why don't you just move to a new place?

Anonymous said...

I've had a couple incidents of packages getting "mishandled". I ordered something, and when I asked about the whereabouts of my package, the response I got was that the package was returned to the sender with insufficient postage, and it was very beat up. He said there was sufficient postage, and that today he repackaged it and reshipped it today.

Interesting, because I had an ARM9 development board whose box looked a little beat up, as though it had been stomped on. Another case, the laptop I ordered never came, and I was informed by the seller that it was lost in shipping.

These sound like deliberate incidents of mail mishandling by perps working for the post office.

There are all kinds that gangstalk me. Ironically, the stuff that gets mishandled are usually anything electronic, such as test equipment, computers, and in this case, E10 lamp sockets. Wow, the perps are threatened by flashlight bulb sockets. I'll bet the perps are scared of my electronics knowledge, as a lot of their stuff is just that; nothing more than sophisticated electronic stuff.

Some of the people gangstalking range from nasty to nice. All kinds. Yesterday, a guy riding a Harley lookalike, a Boulevard M50, came in wearing leather chaps over jeans. Nice guy; looked like the one guy I used to see all the time that worked on computers. He was trying to bait me into talking about his nice bike, but I figured since it was an act of gangstalking, I'd better not. But then, who the hell isn't abetting the perps these days?

I saw a commercial, recent one, where the guy is on the phone, and it appears like someone is messing with his speaking ability. He says "thanks guys", where by "guys" he appears to be "thanking" the perps who messed with his speaking ability. My mom noticed this, and got all quiet about it, like she knows all about the perps and the ways they can remotely mess with people.

That commercial seemed like the perps were deliberately putting references to their doings subliminally. Pretty funny, actually. Well, the bad part is, a target is completely surrounded by perp infiltration at all levels and everywhere. Commercials, art, music, movies all have perp infiltration, so the ti is literally drowning in gangstalking at all times.

AJH said...

Answer to: I've had a couple incidents...

Mail and parcel delivery is often fraught, though apart from the "holdups" by the apartment management, there hasn't been too much sabotage in this category. When they first went overt-beserk in 2002, they held up my bill payments, a bunch of them, making me pay the bills again, and then getting an eventual credit for the extra payments when they finally came in. A three week delay for the same batch of mailed payments for whatever reason. Thanks for the comments.

AJH said...

Answer to: Why don't you just move...

I am not looking to move because I don't think that I will end up in any different circumstances. Maser beams, plasma beams, outside gangstalking and noise and the rest of it will accompany me wherever I live for the forseeable future. I don't have a vehicle, and that compromises mobility, and I can get to everywhere I regularly need to go from this present location. And not to mention the number of managers and landlords that don't return calls for promising buildings.

Anonymous said...

As far as moving, I'd say it depends on what type of gangstalking it is. Any form, basically, is difficult to get away from. I believe my targeting has been recent, but that I was inducted into trauma-based mind control about 10 years ago, including experimentation. I believe I have it "better" than most targets, though my perps are still operating at a very high level, so to speak. This is clearly different than revenge-based stalking, which is still gangstalking, but that type is more like a loose collection of street perps. My type is more trauma-based, and seems to be "directed" from the same high-level perps as yours. I say this because I see the unfavored/favored forms of gangstalkers, very consistent with what you report. Also, my harassment is very consistent when I move to a different location. Some TI's report the tactics are different in differing locales, but mine seems to be very consistent and directed from the same scripts/people. I know moving will not help me, and in fact, will only encourage the perps, because they know they have me on the run instead of doing the "stand still and fight".

Perps are like animals... you know how they say if you run from an potential attacking animal, that by running, it triggers a predator/prey response, and instinctively, the "program" kicks in, and they become the aggressor. By standing and not backing down, you show the animal that you are in control, and the programming which controls their fight intensity never kicks in. Same with perps, I believe. If I go on the run, they will persue me very aggressively, not to mention it takes money to move. Stress levels are also higher, and I will be isolated from friends/family which the perps will take advantage of to traumatize/harass me into complete institutionalization.

Revenge-based gangstalking is a lot different. Moving away would likely make things easier in that case, though if the big time perps with their experimentation agenda ever come rolling in, those new perps can sell you out to the higher ones. And the situation, which was kinda bad, will be far worse, not to mention the victim's life will now be completely in the hands of the Higher Power sickos doing their experimentation.

AJH said...

Answer to: As far as moving...

I agree with your synopsis that there is an organizational distinction between the revenge gangstalking and that of the experimentation gangstalking. I suspect the latter category is selected from long ago, and the investment is continued in overt form when the victim is in adulthood. The revenge type, often meted out to whistleblowers, seem to be more ad hoc, though I cannot say for certainty if they are both sides of the same coin. (The whistleblowers being run covertly and then controlled to expose the nefarious actions of their employer, and then the perps using this as an excuse to go overt on them). I just don't know what the deal is, though I suspect the perps run deeper than we suspect. Thanks for the comments.

Anonymous said...

The perps have planted notions that my stalking is revenge oriented, but I know that can't be the case. It seems logical that the experimentation perps know what kind of qualities makes for a good target. Your normal everyday types (the ones that usually participate in everyday gangstalking) probably are too "average" in order to make for a good guinea pig. And now the perps are discovering that certain types of music activate genes in birds, so I imagine they'd be studying that in humans.


When I was younger, I used to have something of a stutter, and it seems the perps are trying to get me to "revisit" my infant days with various kinds of harassment, to see if they can "unwind" up to the age where the stuttering started happening. My theory is that with TI's, they can go back in time and study the brain, to some extent, much like a scientist studying tree rings. There is definitely a exposure to infants and baby themes in my harassment, and that could be why -- probably to get me introspecting my earliest memories, so they can pull them out and study them.

AJH said...

Answer to: When I was younger...

These planted notions that are patently false are often run for a few weeks and then slowly wound down. Or else they plant a rebutting notion so one logically dismisses the false notion with a counter rationale. This mental game of jerking around the TI with nonsensical notions that the TI would dismiss out of hand and never revisit seems to be occuring all the more of late. I had one run for some months before a final trumping statement from the person involved (per blog) "ended" this theme.

The perps tell me that traumatization associations can begin the womb, and the gurgling noise in the wall that went on for a few months recently might have been equivalent to fetal acoustics. There is no question the perps like to create aural revisits, and the stuttering era of your developmental years would be of supreme interest to the perps. They get to separate and evaluate partial word enunciations, to the thought and vocalization intention. And I also agree with the childhood memories that are remotely invoked, and comparing them to your current self. I get a considerable number of "memories" from childhood that I have long forgotten and yet they know the memory, and know that I forgot it. The game seems to be about eliciting one's reaction to something existent (a forgotten memory) and comparing its neural energetic correlates of the time in childhood. By using this differential comparison, they can begin to eliminate other energetic components such as the soil, building, plants etc. whatever was there at the time. That is my take on it at least. Thanks for the comments.

Anonymous said...

So I suppose these planted notions that are false... I get situations where, the truth is hidden from me in some way, but the "truth" could be either of two ways, and it is set up to be finely balanced: either they are right, or I am right. And I spend 50% of my time concluding they are right, 50% of my time concluding I am right. I suppose the purpose would be to see what kinds of counter-rationales I come up with, to rationalize to myself why a situation presented to me is false or not. I am in just a situation right now, where a Ms. C type is being used as a pawn. She is supposedly in a situation, and there is plenty of evidence to suggest it is a true situation, but yet I have found numerous ways to rationalize to myself that it is false. She seems to be working for the perps somehow. I suppose the perps want me to figure out whether or not this "thing" really did "happen" like they said it did. I have reasons to believe this situation is a staged event, to get me pondering about it in the background for the next 6 months to a year. The perps suggest I will know the truth in 5 months. The outcome, with "evidence" (possibly false) was that they were right all along, but I still have reservations.

Anonymous said...

They seemed to have been on that "developmental years" kick way back from the first time they went overt. This continued from 2006-2007. They were obsessed with things I was able to say from up to 2.5 years of age or so. They'd have a kid about 3 years of age, saying some of those things I remember saying at that particular age. Or they were trying to make me think I was saying those things. More fake notions to weed through.

Also, I keep thinking about how the universe was smaller and different back in those days, and I believe this fact as well as other cosmological events play a minor role in how we relate to others on a psychic level. For example, if you were to be transported back in time 100 years ago, you'd be affected by the universe being smaller, hence the cosmic background radiation was higher and more energetic, which would play a role in how one interacts with others on a psychic level.

Just tonight, some very young girl was standing there, shyly smiling at me, saying "don't be afraid". Maybe she was "talking" to the 4 year old "child" in me, as she looked about that age. She looked like the young girl I danced with at my uncle's wedding at age 4. I believe she was slightly older than me. Maybe I was 3. But I was dancing with this girl, and my grandpap knocked me down inadvertently, and I could see nothing but huge legs and shoes all around me. At the time, I "rationalized" that she was mean and thrown me down, like she didn't like me or something. I was told recently that my grandpap knocked me down, but all I could see were her hands grasping mine, and me being torn from her grasp. I do remember a large adult butt plowing into my side, causing me to fall. But it seemed like the girl did it to me. I know this is wrong now.

I was lying on the floor, horrified, and I ran to my mom crying. It seems the perps were trying to "revisit" this very traumatic moment by having the 4 yo doppel talk to me and smile at me.

AJH said...

Answer to: So I suppose these planted...

The test that I use, if allowed, it if it is, or he/she is, sketchy in probability or behavior, then it is the tip of the iceberg of greater jerkarounds.

That said, the perps can decidedly mess with one's emotional state, not to mention libido, and have a TI going down the wrong path for a long time.

Onto the "who is correct" topic, something the perps are decidedly testing on me all day, every day. It is a typical noisestalk moment when I realize I might of been incorrect in my assumptions (planted or not), or that someone else is incorrect. This is a scene of endless perp games all the time, attribution of correct (or currently held as correct) facts to someone, including one's self. The usual caveats as to the concept of self in this mindfucked circumstance.

And while typing the above reply about attribution, why, a cluster of loud motorcycle noise erupted on this Saturday before Easter Sunday. Then overhead clunking erupted after that.

Thanks for the comments.

AJH said...

Answer to: They seemed to have been...

Verrrry interesting, a 4 y.o. doppelganger from your past giving you advice on your adult TI circumstances. I haven't had one of these, but then again, most of my memories have been deleted prior to age 5.

It is also very interesting is that the perps are righting the wrongs they seem to have pulled on you as to the traumatization circumstance you mention of being bowled over at a dance when 4 y.o. They surely planted the notion at the time that you were pushed over by the girl (when in fact you got knocked over), also jumbled up your short term memories of the sequence of events, and jumbled up your ability to analyze what happened immediately afterward so you couldn't figure it out, and it became a traumatization event. Not only that, they prevented you from correctly assigning blame (attribution) to an adult that wasn't looking out for where he was going while dancing, surely one the necessary skills for that activity.

And only now are they allowing you to assemble what you remember (usual caveat), e.g legs and feet, being torn from the girl's grasp, and correctly analyzing the sequence of events to then arrive at attribution to a different party. Hmmm, major mind games by the perps, and it is fascinating how far back they will go, and to what level of detail, and then permit, or supply, recollections that rewrite the sequence of events to then correctly attribute the true causal agent, your grandfather in this case. Hopefully this one is resolved now, and there aren't other recollections that may come to bear later to rewrite the story again. Thanks for the comments.