Beautiful Inhale

07-24-2017
"Beautiful inhale" is the term the new yoga instructor frequently uses for taking a deep breath. She is young and bubbly, always smiling, a bit like an effervescent hippy girl of long ago. I don't particularly take to those who are constantly smiling as I find this rapport at odds with my own persona. (Like, is she crazy?) I am beginning to warm up to her, and it helps that she is as lithesome as she is well proportioned. And blonde and young. Such is the male mind, totally distractable by the female form.

Though the perps do love to plant people who first seem objectionable in some aspect, and monitor me while I later re-evaluate my opinion of them.

Another day of tucking vines, and it seems I got a break productivity-wise, as the second varietal has a more vertical growing habit, and doesn't need the degree of effort to get them erect from flopping down.

Another skunk at the walk-in doctor's office, same as Saturday. The perps plugged it up enough that their "quota" of patients was exceeded by 1515h. In this realm of state managed medical care, they allow full reimbursement up to 80 (?) patients a day. After that, the state only reimburses the doctors by half that. Ergo, this clinic shuts down after the prescribed number of patients at full reimbursement. The perp assholes choked the place two days ago on Saturday morning, and so I thought I would take the risk and try today, Monday afternoon. In the past I did not have a problem at this time of day, but now I do. Thanks a bunch.

And predictably, the last pill of selegiline was this morning, so I will go at least a day without it. Which fits the pattern of perp fuckery; constantly messing with my supply of medicine or supplements so I end up skipping them when I had absolutely no intention to do so. No good habit goes unpunished (unsabotaged) or useful medication goes undisrupted.

And what was the deal last night, when the perps kept me up for at least three hours before they let me sleep? The usual tossing and turning, mostly the latter. And a new stunt; I was in a light sleep and the assholes portrayed an ant crawling around in my "vision", or more like visual cortex. I immediately jumped, as I have been inundated with ants for months now, and I nail every one. They even had ants crawling on this here LCD display a few months ago. And it seems a new hatch is out in the kitchen now.

07-25-2017
I worked two vineyards today, about 3 km apart today, same employer. I suppose that isn't too different from last year when my employer had a vineyard 5 km away from their winery site vineyard where I reported most days.

Then I stopped work an hour early to go to the naturopath, and I am always a bit circumspect as she is so vague at times. My iron is low she says, and then doesn't have anything to offer as to how to fix it. Then, for the protocol she said she would develop for my upcoming radiotherapy for prostate cancer, all she showed me the page from a naturopathic oncology book for crissakes. Then I mention the methylation topic she introduced me to last visit, that went nowhere.

Eventually I had to promote the IV vitamin C therapy she offers, as part of preparing for radiotherapy. She wasn't adverse to doing it, but gosh, I expected her to be little more with it. I never did get a baseline plasma vitamin C level test from her last visit, so this whole deal doesn't have a quantifiable start or end state.

07-26-2017
In the orchestrated juggling of clinical events, the above IV vitamin C "happened" during the two day span of not taking selegiline. No coincidence that considering the insane fuckery that goes on manipulating the "forgets" over taking supplements and planned "shortages".

I finally got into the walk-in doctor today, who wasn't too moved to offer an alternative, as the selegiline is giving me tingling toes. This guy seemed a little more professional than the last time, as I mentioned that a dopamine shortage is manifested in a number of ways, and listed some, and he just stared at me. This time, on account of the tingling toes, more blood tests. Anyhow, he did say the shrink I am to see in September is "on top of it", and also offered that he is "thorough". So maybe, a real doctor that knows something about dopamine is in the offing, though I am not going to hold my breath, as I consider them to be constrained by the perps, and by way of past experience, have written them off as the Liar's Club.

Post IV vitamin C today, and I feel better. It was 34C today, and I felt fine. Though the perps did add some adverse fuckery games while tucking vines; scrambling me as to what wire (# 2 or 3) I am working on, as we are putting both up, after dropping each. Another trick they like to do is to cross them up, to create more angst and confusion as to which wire is what. And too, this adversity "blows up" near row ends, their favorite place to add more adversity, outside noise, and of course, the gangstalking co-workers who "happen" to be there. Have I beaten on the theme enough, that the perps are obsessed over any direction changes I make, seeming to fit with changes of energetic anisotropy they so like to remotely monitor. Even the crew boss' dog is in on it.

At the Rx counter at the LD store, a wacko stalker comes up behind me and says "nice legs", presumably in reference to my own tanned and waxed legs. I look at him like he was nuts, and just when I am about to enter my PIN number, he flicks his arm out and crouches low for some mysterious reason. I look at him again, like he is really nuts.

As it "happened", the pharmacy tech at the counter thought the "nice legs" remark was directed at her, even if her legs were hidden by the counter, and responded in kind. If I couldn't see her legs how could the Fuckwit behind me do so? Anyhow, I finish my transaction on the debit card machine and wander off. In a few minutes, while at the second cashier at LD, I get a call on my phone, but of course I wasn't allowed to answer it as the ringing stopped as soon at I touched it. (Usual phone answering sabotage). Later I review the message at home and it was the pharmacy tech, explaining at length as to how embarrassed she was at responding to the "nice legs" comment from the Fuckwit wacko (my term), who she thought was with me for some perverse reason. I phoned back and got another pharmacy tech, and conveyed my observation that there was no need for embarrassment etc. All too strange, and of course timed for that very moment of intense perp fuckery, making a financial transaction.

07-27-2017
More boring vine tucking in the heat; "only" 32C today. Plenty more mind fuck games over the tucking; e.g. what trellis wire belongs where, and finding out if they are crossed, laterally, or vertically. One row had me infuriated for at least 30 min. Then it was lunch time, and lo, some 30 minutes after lunch, they started that shit up again.

Another blood test today, the second in a week. Obviously the IV vitamin C, and restarting selegiline after two days off is a big deal. Though, I have a sense the perps can withdraw blood from me by teleportation means anytime they want. As to why they have me go through the conventional method is unclear to me. Perhaps they need more mortals to come in contact with my blood, say, handling the test tubes. The usual gut strut stalkers in there;

 07-29-2017
A day off, Saturday, and one that became food acquisition oriented. The farmer's market, a major gangstalk scene as it is such a clusterfuck, though less so when I go early. I had a male bun-head with a major tattoo attack down his arms hounding my ass. The regular stand I go to was staffed with the regular woman, who for the first time in two years, put on a very friendly persona today. She has always been a bit cautious, if not furtive, but not unfriendly. But this time she put on a big smile for crissakes. Funny how I get these personality transformations all the time, which I did before all this shit rained down on me in 04-2002.

Then to the new-old specialty grocer, now changed hands, as it was a Penticton landmark for over 40 years. And lo, with the new points system they now have, the cashier addressed me by my first name. Under the old ownership, this never happened, even with their own points system. Since the cashier worked under the old ownership, this was (to me) quite the transformation.

Then onto hiking, and my tanning plans came to little, even after packing the 2kg portable cot in my pack. There were bear sightings posted and I didn't feel like going to the more remote area by myself. Just maybe the perp's planted this anxious notion, something they are long practiced at. Then after the 2 hour hiike, onto the adjacent farm store where I picked up my pre-ordered 3lb of basil. The cashier was chatty and pleasant, another case of persona change going back some four years. It was last year she became friendly, which has continued. Again, these persona changes seem to be arranged over long periods, and for whatever reason, though under the rationale of habituation, they change.

And my evening plans to join my work-injured colleague came to naught; he claimed he wasn't feeling up to it in a text I received when I was halfway down the hill during my hike. Perhaps he got the word to beg off from the perps, who made some kind of determination after I spent my lunch in the sun. The assholes also had me "forget" to take a spoon or a fork, and with no substitutes, so I had to use my fingers. For someone who loathes a mess on my hands, the assholes got me big time.

This eating utensils fuckery has been going on for over two years now, and I am getting severely pissed about this. These "forgets" over bringing my titanium fork, spork or whatever have got way out of control. Sometimes as a result of a forced "forget" I have a knife, and scoop lunchtime food with the back edge of it. Then the fuckery advanced to the point that I had to borrow a fork from the winery at work, this year and last. So to prevent more inconvenience, I keep a spare utensil in my regular day pack and vehicle glove box. Today, the assholes had me take my large back for the portable cot, which turned out to be a ruse (per above), which does not have any spare utensil set in it. So I was caught out, and had no knife either. So what in the fuck is it that is so important to the perps over what eating (or food preparation) utensils I use? And this insane bullshit for over 15 years as part of their targeted relentless abuse and harassment program all because they don't have the gumption to show their face and declare their intentions. I just don't understand how such a large and pervasive organized with unlimited funds could be so fundamentally rigid over keeping me, and other TI's, as kept human lab rats over this principle of non-declaration. Like who are they fooling?

07-30-2017
Sunday, but a working day at a part time vineyard, doing S side de-leafing. The perps had me "forget" to bring my water bottle today, so I had to settle for cup fulls from the outside hos bib. The "cup" being my lunch container, usually for pecans which I had to eat first. Another forced "forget" was the selegiline medication, not taking it with my breakfast, my usual routine. Another forced "forget" was my current habit of preparing my vehicle for a hot day while parked; I always open the windows a crack and put up the reflective wind shield on the inside. I have been doing this every hot day for months, and I "happen" to forget? At lunch time I made the trip to the vehicle to put all in order. But why?

Anyhow, the perps have ground me into a rage-fied state tonight after a day of working outside in the heat, scrambling my usual prudent food preparation habits. Enough of this pedantic trivia, and onto posting this for the week.