Scanning and Tattoos

09-18-2017
As a full time tattoo loather, I got my own set of three freckle-like tattoos today, along with a scan to identify where my to-be-irradiated (in med-speak, treated) prostate is. Irony of ironies, but as they are quite small, I can live with them. It was either that or else get some irretrievable gold pellets shot into said gland. And all the while a red laser beam marked the center of the scanning bed, and me when on it. And of course, the perps love firing lasers at the victim (me) as well. So here we are, a troika of perp intrusions; tattoos (loathed as artwork on others), a laser beam, and a CT (X-ray) scan. This is all to get my alignment for the focused beam treatments, 28 of them I am told, Mon-Fri, whenever they start.

The two technicians, both women, marked and scanned me, and then repeated the exercise, and once happy with their positioning, marked me permanently with ink. Funny how they pulled the frumpy one from the exercise, and kept the better looking one to finish the job. More of the swapping game I suppose, most notable at cashiers, though often male for female, or vice versa. 

For that, an hour's drive to Kelowna, and the the usual extra road traffic that accompanies me. Though to be fair, I don't have a read on this region of the world to know how much is background traffic, and how much is extra gangstalking accompaniment. I had time to go to the bookstore, and had my stalkers ahead of me there, and coursing around. Ditto for the skunk-trip to the shoe repair shop; even stalkers standing around on the street for no seeming reason, still there over the 10 minutes when I returned after finding the shoe repair shop closed this Monday. The perps just love to be all over me when I am exiting my vehicle, especially after a highway drive. And too, pulling a skunk at the same time, that is, finding a business or office is closed or not accessible (aka, dashed expectations). And I find it absolutely galling that somehow, someone knew I was in my vehicle and wanted my parking spot on the street, when it is highly doubtful they would of seen me, as it was the pull-in stall type, where other vehicles obstruct the view from the street.

And they were all over me when I set off after my appointment at the hospital; a vehicle train to trap me where I was to make my first turn, culminating in what seemed like the real perp assholes in uniform; an unmarked brown Suburban with uniformed Fuckwits inside (but not regular police), making a L turn in front of me. I am being facetious, as I don't think the perps have a uniform, any more than a CIA criminal has one, but it does beg the question as to who these mofos were.

Yoga; I didn't see this coming, but then again I am not allowed to think too far in advance, nor anticipate the perps games that I could do so accurately until 2006, when they became capable of dithering my knowledge. Here we are, post return trip from Kelowna, post CT scan, so they poured on the yogis. About 15 of them, and plenty of new cute ones too, plus some semi-regular cute ones. One of the latter wears a two piece outfit, but today she had a new two piece outfit that was smaller than the first one. Presumably a more revealing outfit to get my renewed attention for the same girl. I cannot think of any reason why these surges of yogis show up, and then it boils down to a regular crew, 8 or so.

They had plenty of early yogis attending to arrange themselves in my usual spot and at the front, so I ended up in the SE back corner. Three cute ones in front, and at the last minute they put a larger assed woman in between, even if there was other and more roomy areas she could of placed herself. For some reason of late, the perps like me to do comparisons on asses; this time arranging a larger one in front of three cute ones. Go figure.

09-19-2017
Another significant futility exercise just revealed itself. For 1.5 years I have been making my case for an generalized dopamine deficiency, which includes a SPECT scan that determined ADD (=developmental dopamine deficiency), and a recent urine test that determined dopamine deficiency. I have compiled a list of symptoms that apply to those with a dopamine deficiency. I wrote all this up and gave it to the shrink one week in advance. So today's visit was a mighty disappointment from the get-go when he appeared to not have read any of what I wrote. He went over this material while I was there, and didn't even look at the scans for crissakes, just the written determination. Then it was a long detailed listing of all what happened to me in Seattle when the perps went berserk/overt on me, and the downstream bullshit of being fucked with by shrinks who then illegally kept me in hospital and kept me on dopamine blocking agents. I dumped those mind-debilitating medications the day I got out and got better. How is that for Soviet-style treatment in a supposedly free country? Free we ain't, in the US or Canada.

And because this guy is a careful facts collector, I had to go through all the squalid history of this abuse onset, the head pain brutality, being run all over the place, gangstalking up the asshole etc. while he took notes. Naturally, there wasn't enough time for the whole story, and so this shrink summed up the deal about dopamine deficiency/ADD by saying, "I don't see it there". Well the SPECT scan shows it, and ADD doesn't go away, so what was there to "see"? Never mind that I did 90% of the talking and he asked no ADD diagnostic questions. Thanks a lot perps, another go-nowhere shrink, aka, dopamine treatment obstruction.

As to his determination on the harassment, he says, "why you?". How am I supposed to know, save that the perps have an inordinate interest in dopamine. Anyhow, there were plenty of "stop there" during my revelations, which tells me he didn't want to know a whole lot about specific details. So here we go again; a big nothing over dopamine treatment, exactly what I predicted months ago, and I waited six months for this. Sure, another appointment is scheduled in December, but today's opening gambit tells me the whole deal is over. Am I fucking pissed or what?

Dopamine is a hormone of significant and wide influence, and doctors and endocrinologists just don't/won't get it. (Here are some links; dopamine1 (easy read, 4 pp), dopamine2 (longer read, 11pp), dopamine3 (technical read, 33pp). Why have I been beating my head at this wall, or more like, led to this place, for over 20 years, and to no avail? When I first identified I had ADD from clinical books, and lectures from doctors, four shrinks in succession blew me off. Finally, I got the SPECT scan in 2001 which came back exactly with what I told them, and I took the appropriate medications (new doctor) and felt much, much better. That is, until 04-2002 when the perps went berserk/overt and outed themselves with their abusive and psychopathic harassment, which still continues to this day, though not as intense as then. If it hadn't been for the recent prostate cancer and urinary issues (both mediated by dopamine), I never would of gone to any shrink. This entire episode has been another big, very big, nothing. One that has huge medical ramifications for the next 20 years, and has already manifested itself in part by way of prostate cancer. Thanks assholes.

Onto small nothings; I see my "fickle friend" (co-worker from last year, 2016) was texting, and says we can meet sometime in October in Kelowna (one hour drive away), as he travels there for his physiotherapy. I will be there on a daily basis then too. So WTF; we both live in Penticton, and now this lame-assed excuse to meet in another city comes up in a month's time? For the record, I helped him for six weekends to take him shopping as he was crippled from knee surgery, having split his knee cap in May. (And I have done nothing to piss him off). We always have lively conversations, and got along well as co-workers in 2016, and have similar dispositions and intellectual curiosities. Anyhow, more of the same, from the same quarter, disappointing as it is. As an aside, the above mentioned shrink found the term "fickle friend" hilarious. Unexpectedly humorous I am, or perhaps, he was letting on he has a sense of humor. Go figure.

Saw Amy Helm tonight; she and her very capable band put on a good show. I didn't get the waitress banging me into me 4x like last time, though I was in a different seat against the far wall. Cindy Cashdollar was on steel guitar, and was the consummate supporting musician.  I needed a reprieve from the disastrous shrink visit earlier, and the show more than served the purpose.

09-20-2017
I had my 1-5 tooth extracted this morning, as it was broken, plus some X-rays on the other side where another (similar) problem seems to be brewing. And were there enough masers floating around the whole time, this time the small black dot variety that likes to arrive and stay on top (or between) of a feature, say corner of the lamp, edge of the pillar for the lamp etc. And plenty of fleeting plasma beams, projecting from the linear features of the room mostly, e.g. window frame, vertical wall edge etc. Nothing new to me when I go to any medical facility and sit down on the chair. And what is with the dentist? She doesn't set up the next appointment/referral and I had to ask the dental assistant all the particulars and get it set up. Having a go-between for information transfer seems to be a big deal for the perps for whatever reason, as is any facet related to acquiring knowledge, retaining knowledge, deploying knowledge etc. A significant component of the objectives of what they seem to be after for whatever reason.

09-21-2017
A 11 hour sleep for whatever reason, with fitful awake time as well. My daughter has now, after 15 months, acknowledged my prostate cancer and is encouraging me to look after myself and says that these treatments have a high rate of success. I hope so too. But the question remains as to why she started this dialog when I told her on the first day of my biopsy result, that I had prostate cancer? And coincidentally, it was her birthday, and we were in communication because I was wishing her well, via phone call. Cynically, I would call this a "two-fer"; in this case a communication event that served two purposes, for  birthday greetings and my significant health news. For that, it takes the perps to manage events IMHO, as they seem to manage me down to the last microsecond.

I finally figured out why the perps want to jump on my ass whenever I complete something; one gets a small dopamine surge just then, satiating the mid-brain reward center. Often, the perps will delay completion as things "happen" to go wrong, or in the case of working for employers, they will move me to another task so someone else gets to complete what I was working on. And lest you think it is just me in all this, the root cause of addictions is about creating a dopamine surge. In some cases you don't have enough, or in other cases the dopamine is broken down too fast. There may be other variations too. Soo... what is going on out there that a massive amount of the human race has addictions, and are they too being covertly monitored or surveilled for dopaminergic dysfunction? And why is the clinical community, save a few players who do it right with an assist from brain imaging technologies, got their heads in the sand? (Putting it politely).

09-22-2017
Fall officially begins today, which means the fall equinox. Though, with the 15-20C daily temperatures of late, it seems fall began two weeks ago. With no vineyard work on, the cancer treatments soon, I am being kept in employment limbo. Even the picking at the two vineyards seems to getting done by imported crews from the wineries, rather than the minions who got it into shape all growing season, from pruning to present.

09-23-2017
Saturday, and a dick all day it was, save going to the farmer's market in the morning to get fresh salad vegetable.

09-24-2017
Sunday, and I got out for a hike, along the trail that was used for an obstacle course competition yesterday. So hundreds of trail runners were on this trail yesterday. No big deal, and who knows how all this fits in the perp harassment scheme.

Dropped in at my former employer of 2012-2015 on the way back. I haven't seen any particular major capital improvements at his vineyard and small winery that might have come his way as a possible reward, a rare exception in the trail of largesse that seems to follow me, even before the harassment began 04-2002. All was well, sort of; his 62 y.o younger wife want to move to an assisted living arrangement, far removed from running a 5 acre vineyard and a small winery. She is in reasonable health, is able bodied and all, so I don't get it.

And I see by way of email that the person who is handling my malfunctioning stereo amplifier is claiming that there is nothing wrong with it. He says its the sources or cables or both. I just ran all three sources through my ancient headphone amplifier and all three work fine, keeping the same source-cabling. So it would seem that the perps are up to their usual shit again; fucking the gear, having it sent back, and then no problem is found. Then it gets returned to me, and I continue to have the same problems. Not that this person is any bit keen to really find out; not a phone call or anything. That is what one gets in this new world of online sales, though brick and mortar sales outlets don't guarantee diligent service either.

Or maybe it is a total jerkaround to force me back to headphone listening again, something they did from 2005 to 2016. For all the crap I have been through over stereo amplifiers, I don't get it. They screwed with my 15 y.o YBA amplifier such that it wasn't working properly, and after it was returned from the Chicago repair depot, it still wasn't working. I was livid. Then I had to sent it back again, and four months later, it was finally working again. I was so pissed with this fuckery over an older amp, I got a new one. (After checking out that it gets fixed back at the factory). And lo, it is this new one (now one year old) that isn't working. So just what is it about music sources, stereo amplifiers, speakers, headphones, cables, and cable colors and materials that so interests the perps that they continue a 15 year long sabotage assault on all of this? And when will they be done? I reckon they have another 15 years of combinations and permutations to run through in all of this.

They pulled this shit in 2002 in Seattle when I purchased a combination gauss-electrical meter only the electrical signal detector worked fine, so I sent it back. They pronounced it all working, and sent it back to me. By then, all kinds of things were going wrong, as well as the debilitating head pains, and I figured then, as now, it was a perp stunt. Of course I wanted the gaussmeter function the most as it seemed the nature of the harassment was magnetic. (For example, I could get relief from the pain beaming with headphones on, or in my vehicle). When when I moved the meter's switch to gauss, the reading blanked out. I ended up renting an industrial gaussmeter from California and got readings of 180-200 gauss in my apartment 13 stories up. Why the perps put me through all that I have no idea, but they like to have objects come from different geographic locations and have them returned. I returned the gaussmeter to the rental agency, but I will never, ever, forget the intense head pounding pain that came on while at the courier's counter while they did all the paper work, and I paid them. (A financial transaction note, another major perp Fuckover moment).

Enough for a week, and it seems just too dull to do daily blogs like I did back in the unemployed years they kept me in.