Blood Test Day

11-27-2018
Blood test at the hospital today, next door to where I am working in construction on the new 6 floor extension.  And in keeping with the consistent fuckery over such events, the assholes hit me with two forced forgets. I "forgot" wallet with the all important health care card, and also "forgot" my cell phone, used for clocking in at work. A never-before double forget mind fuck. I drove home at our coffee break at 0900h and retrieved both. And to no surprise, the vehicular gangstalking was intense, as were the vehicular cluster-fucks at intersections. The is the norm when heading home during regular work hours to deal with forced "forgets", mid-day appointments etc.

Prior to coffee break, a confluence four other tradesmen came into this 5m x 3m room where I was working. I had been there late yesterday all by myself, and no one was around. And in addition, my boss came around too.

I took my blood test at the day's end, about 1500h, and this time I was the only one there. Usually there is some 10-15 people ahead of me, along with staff activity. One such activity is for someone to enter or exit an adjacent doorway, and in doing so, cause the wall to shake, and thereby, my seat back as well. The lab tech seemed particularly distant and cursory for some reason. As always, I never give off any vibe or like for this to occur, and yet it "happens" with such consistency that I wonder if there isn't some kind of telltale identifying field around me that others can see, and I cannot.

Yoga yesterday, another interesting show, again heavy on the tattoos, truly an Unfavored sight. This time the tattoo-ed instructor wore long sleeves and hid most of hers, so instead I had the woman beside me doing  a full arm show. Fucking disgusting IMHO. I also got skunked from my usual mat location by a new Asian male yogi, surely another one installed who will likely pass through this shit show, as so many do.

After yoga, a new "practice" of the class members is to swarm me afterward. For the past five years the class members held back, as if commanded by some common agent, and I was in the change area alone for the most part. Now, a sudden change in post-yoga behavior and I am now swarmed in short order. One attractive woman who was turning around to go gives me a sharp look for whatever reason from 8' away and I stare back without any acknowledgement or change in countenance. (I internalize these directed stares with a "fuck you, what is there to look at" notion). As usual, I get to feel like a constant freak, and yet there is no reason for this common behavioral event that erupts and is directed at me. And all this began in 04-2002 when the perps first went berserk/overt on me.

Immediately after this eye contact with the attractive woman, three dudes from the yoga class swarm in front of her to block my view, or otherwise intervene in the space between me and her. (She was heading out the door then anyhow). Which then illustrates another long standing perp stalking stunt; have my view of the babe (Favored) be replaced by a dude, or dudes (Unfavored, both) in this case. Though, this stalking stunt vignette was complexed with the above mentioned piss-off of having her glare at me for absolutely no reason. And what in the fuck was that about, and why does it play out so consistently for 16 years of this insane choreographed abuse-athon that I have been cast into?

11-30-2018
The construction work site is winding down with a whole lot less trades dudes about. But the heavy stalking at every turn I make when transiting the corridors and at elevators from a consistent group 10 or so is just too obvious for words. Sometimes the same stalking Fuckwit "happens" to pop out from the same door when I am making the same corner in the same direction, 20 minutes apart. (I am usually fetching supplies for others, so I often cover the same beat at frequent intervals).

The radiotherapy side effect damage, aka, ass-leaking that has dogged me for 10 months has somehow been increased of late. I went home at lunch, and yet again, any mid-work day transiting began hordes of heavy vehicular gangstalkling.

Another gangstalking plague that has been noted at the work site in prior postings are the E. Indian cleaner workers. Yet again, there they were at every floor when I starting a new task. Yesterday, they upped their coverage yet again, by descending on our trade office when I was about to have lunch there. As soon as I saw that set-up, I got the hell out and had lunch outside, which was warmer that it had been of recent weeks.

As work seems to be winding down, despite what the boss man says, I took some of my stuff home, and lo, yet again, I find that someone stole some of my special cobalt steel 6" long drill bits, this from my second order; 3 in fact. This time it has to be someone in-house, as I locked them up every night after the first theft of my 6" drill bits (from the first order). Earlier someone stole 10 drill bits from the little box that was routinely left  on the work cart. They had opened up the box, removed the drill bits and then put the box back where it was normally placed.

I thought about these drill bit thefts some more this evening, and concluded, in the absence of a confession, that the circumstantial evidence points to my skulking Russian co-worker of the last 8 weeks. Only he knew I wasn't using the first order of drill bits as they were too large diameter, and presumably felt comfortable stealing them all as he knew I had switched to smaller diameter drill bits that were store purchased. The second order of 6" drill bits, a length that one never sees in retail stores, were smaller diameter and arrived later. (After unexpected and considerable delays in delivery). He also had access to where there were stored in a locked cabinet overnight. And too, he would of also known of my habit of not retrieving the drill bits from the storage box until I needed a new one, often weeks later. I routinely kept the one in use on the cart until it became too dull, and, he knew that too, and felt comfortable stealing the bits from the storage box as there would be a latency of discovery by a week or more.

And what is with the medication intake fuckery now? After two years of taking them at the same time every day, suddenly I "forget"?

And too, what is with the lunch spoon fuckery. I routinely pack my titanium spoon with my lunch, and have done for over 5 years, and suddenly I "forget"? The deal with this is that the former folding titanium spoon, which had a "habit" of folding unexpectedly, (read psychopathic perp intervention) became my back up spoon that was kept in my pack should the replacement (single piece, also titanium) spoon be "forgotten". Well, four such "forgets" in two weeks, with the back up spoon being available, isn't normal, and is nothing less than  blatant mind fuckery. And likely for the purposes for some kind of comparison, as the metal content and type (and presumably, energetics) of eating utensils and my food digestion has long been of interest to these assholes. And presumably, the titanium source in each soon instance was from differing smelters and ore supplies, or whatever the other parameters these assholes are pursuing while they run and ruin my life to the most possible degree.

And the number of maser eruptions has increased of late at the hospital work site. Very often there is automatic door opening hardware (motor, wires, aluminum box) over the door, from which an eruption of blackish filamentous "stuff" just erupts and comes at me. The perps are nuts when I enter and exit doors, and are very often a prime gangstalking site for their shills and operatives to circulate around me, and sometimes hold me up while some kind of excuse is made for them to delay. This time, they seem to be replacing the gangstalkers with their magnetic beams and fields. It is my contention that the gangstalkers are placed for their energetic interactions (among other reasons such as view blocking), as bio-field interference agents, whose bio-field would interfere and interact with mine, and from which some kind of measurement or detection can be remotely determined. Only when they are confident in the baseline of energetic interaction study, at a certain site or regular path, do they back off and then start using their technological means such as magnetic beams such as masers and plasma beams. Which also explains that the stalking and fuckery is always intense whenever I am first in a new location or circumstance, say, new job. Just my observation.

And I see that the assholes are still at their pill (medication) color fuckery games. My ADD Rx, re-started in 07-2018, and of a black and transparent capsule with orange microspheres visible through the transparent part, has now been switched to a generic form. This new form is an all orange colored capsule with white micro-spheres inside. And here we are, now 16.5 years into this protracted and senseless abuse-athon, and here are they are still putzing with my medication color. These been the same medications that were suspended for 16 years due to their fucking insane and illegal interventions when they first went berserk/overt in 04-2002. Get a grip assholes, and get the fuck out.

Enough venom unloaded for a week, and to see what the next will bring.

Decision Making Stalking

11-03-2018
Just what is it about making a decision that so interests these assholes who have been overtly hounding my ass for the last 16+ years? The same crew that runs and ruins my existence (not called a life any more), down to infinitesmal levels of detail, also needs to rag my butt whenever I make a decision. And of course, they like it too when I am forced to revoke a decision, modify it, or hit the wall and cannot make one in the face of an confluence of confliction eruption.

Nowhere is this more evident than when I go out in the stores and go shopping as I did today, a Sunday off. The stalkers arrive ahead of me at the store aisle location where I am interested in something, (and usually I cannot find it at first, delaying the decision making episode of course), then one stalker screws off and another one comes by, and if I feel I am getting too crushed by the procession and/or clusterfuck of these Fuckwits, I abandon the exercise and head out to the cashier. Another variation is to present unexpected alternatives, say (today), glass cleaning wipes instead of the glass cleaning spray foam that I was looking for, and then have me "decide" if the new-to-me alternative is better. (I bought both, never trusting new items that I "happen" to find). Another momentary decison reflection moment is when they jack with the price and I process this and then re-decide. This constant hounding of me today in the Cambodian Tire store (not its real name) is plain fucking insane. I rarely go to this larger hardware and home ware store as I get constantly skunked, (that is, don't find what I am looking for) and stalked too, but they do have automotive things that the alternative store doesn't have.

And why would some endlessly funded deep black (and relentlessly malevolent and psychopathic) organization hound my ass over when I make a decision? My father could never seem to make a decision, and in viewing and suffering from his traits when in his care, I resolved never to be such an ditz, and as far as I know, I am not when it comes to this activity. Which begs the larger question, just what are the perps after in this context? Could it be that a decison is a branch point in the Many Worlds Quantum Mechanics Interpretation (MWI -Gizmodo's version)  and that the assholes are attempting to determine this theoretical event in actuality and in real time? Add in the gangstalkers, whom may fulfil the role of "vibe cohorts", a la this quote from a neuroscientist;

"The more we study engagement, we see time and again that just being next to certain people actually aligns your brain with them..."

and maybe the perps are onto some kind of many worlds quantum detection methodology in real time. Not that I give a rat's ass about it, all I want to be is left the fuck alone. And not forgetting that this same crew does teleportation and telekinesis as a normal everyday practice in the course of delivering their abuse as I have come to know it. Not only are they very far ahead of human capabilities, (aided by supressing scientific research) but they have a research agenda beyond that even. One can research the Many Worlds Interpretation for hours online, but for me, it doesn't do much, as I just don't have the cognitive capability to take it all in and process it. It is interesting though that the perps had me "discover" Hugh Everett and his MWI a couple of years ago, something that I would not be ordinarily interested in.

Then added to the above is another litany of insane interest by the perps, which is the act of measuring something. Or, even estimating, guessitmating, and all variations of certainty that can occur in the process. This too has Many Worlds Interpretation implications, with the theoretical notion that the world, or one's perception of it, splits when one takes a measurement. Or, alternatively in the Copenhagen quantum mechanics interpretation, there is a wave function collapse, and the observer is part of the quantum system. Well I suppose, if one can somehow eliminate the observer's cognitive awareness at the time of measurement, just maybe something else can be discovered. Whatever, just leave me the fuck alone. I don't operate at these rareified levels of theoretic debate and have no interest in doing so. Again, one can go for weeks in chasing down all the theoretical ramifications of this, but leave me out of it.

And it is unlikely to be happenchance that the perps have me in a current job where I have made many measurements often over the past three months of this construction gig. (I am installing chair railing at major hospital construction site). And if they have been covertly following me all these years (as it seems) until they went berserk/overt on me in 04-2002, I have had plenty of prior measuring experience. I worked in forest inventory for many summers, and took tree measurements for diameter and heights often, for both one time samples (temporary plots) and also permanent sample plots where one returns to a site with number tagged trees and remeasures the same identical ones every 5 or 10 years or so. That is, differing crews in differing measurement field project initiatives return to gather this data for determining tree growth statistics so they may be grouped and extrapolated into growth functions to predict future forest growth, and thereby support forest harvesting decisions.

Another curiousity, likely related though I don't know how, is the perps' interest in me when percieving time. Today is when the daylight savings time is converted back to standard time, and the perps have demonstrated a long interest in that since they went into overt harassment mode. This year, my difficult-to-adjust Timex digital sports watch "somehow" got snagged and thereby changed a week ago to exactly one hour earlier, and thereby saving me the extreme hassle of attempting to change it myself. Even the watch repair guys had a tough time changing it in the spring owing to sticky or otherwise reluctant change buttons. And yes, I have the manual for the watch, but it defies the prescribed instructions. On at least half the occasions where I had to change the time on my watch, I had to take it in to a jeweller and have them change the time for me. An astonishing coincidence by any means, and with at least three digital watches in the last 16 years, all the more so. (Not counting the two analog watches that "failed", both with steel mesh bands, that "happened" when the assholes first mugged me with this psychopathic outrage in 04-2002). Add the perception of time to the above mentioned decision making and measuring interest the perps have and see if you can develop a coherent thesis on what they are after.

Yesterday, in an infuriating mind-fuck bout of decision over-ride, I went grape harvesting with my fickle friend at his boss' site. I hadn't been in a vineyard since mid-August when I my employment was terminated as they had no further work. Going by last year, my former employer would of phoned me up at least three times and asked for some spot help for grape harvesting. Yesterday, it ended up that the rain came on about 1100h, and we picked until 1700h as there was a transfer truck with a fork lift waiting for all the harvested grapes. Normally they shut down harvest operations when it rains, but not this time. Which of course, meant that I wasn't fully prepared for picking in the rain as they always shut the harvest down, and I expected that they would this time too. But the end of it, I was cold and wet, a situation that I always am prepared for by bringing extra clothing, but "somehow" I got faked out this time. Well done assholes.

I had wanted to take yesterday, a Saturday, off to to go to the walk-in doctor clinic and get my four Rx renewed. It was my plan, or decision if you will, to do so for at least the prior 6 days, and when my fickle friend phoned Friday night to ask if I was available for picking the next day, I immediately said "yes". As to why, I have no idea, as I had other plans for my Saturday. These kind of mindless cannot-say-no "decisions" have been "happening" more of late, and I am getting increasingly pissed off at this owing to the downstream inconveniences.

And of course, interuptions in my Rx intake have been long part of the perp's games, and having them run out, even for a day or two, suits their agenda perfectly. It just pisses me off intensely that I cannot be allowed to consistently apply a remedy to fix, or attend, to a medical problem that they brought on in the first place. Or in the least, a problem that they are managing. Just more grist for the nonconsensual research agenda, these Rx intake variations, as they would see it. And too, it would be in keeping with another of their long standing sabotage objectives that "no good deed go unpunished", or alternatively, that "no effective habit/remedy go unsabotaged", a theme that has come up in many prior postings.

Enough said for now, and onto posting this.

Four Weeks of Big Smoke

08-22-2018
Now four weeks of smokey conditions, visibility is about 6 blocks or so. It looked to be getting better today, but instead, got worse. All part of the sunlight diminution and manipulation games as I see it. And too, having the tan start to fade in August, instead of being able to pour it on.

And related brown skin games; there are a whole lot more of brown skinned workers around me at the construction site of late, but then again, perhaps this is normality as I don't know these kinds of jobs well. And too, plenty of dude surges, and dudes popping out behind corners and adjacent doors, as well as up on ladders, usually arriving when I am repeatedly transversing a route, making multiple trips to deliver cabinets to the correct room. Or sometimes, on my return visit to a room or corridor, a ladder just appears and no one uses for the hour or two that I am passing by.

back to split sleep shifts again, the assholes have kept me off my ADD Rx for the past two weeks and counting, owing to a absolutely needless intervention by the pharmacy, and so a doctor visit had to be also scheduled. The pharmacy indicated over the phone, to me, that under 6mg of xxxx is Ok with medication yyy, so just what is reason for the fucking hold up?
That I predicted the Psychopaths would pull this stunt may be even in a blog posting four weeks ago. After all, medication yyy has been very successful, and since they went all out with an apartment invasion, unconventional weapons and physical material changes, gangstalking, and punishing electromagnetic pain (which could be out run if running is appropriate in the context of where one is), as well as a barrage of fuckery that never let up until 01-2003, when it "magically" was turned down, but not off, even at present. Said intense and insane abuse also served to deprive me of my successful dopaminergic medications for over 16 years, and after whacking the shit out of with radiotherapy for prostate cancer until 12-2017, (which I doubt would of happened had the assholes let me take my ADD medication as dopamine is a hormone that mediates the immune system), I had to do something in 2018.

After the absolute local (and loco) whacko shrink visit of late 2017, I went to folks who did the 2001 brain scan that diagnosed ADD, something that four prior shrinks seemed fundamentally incapable of doing, even after me telling them exactly what the problem was. Given that this particular doctor is in the US, and that US medication prices are absolutely ridiculous at 7x the price in Canada, I had the Rx re-written here this time. And lo, if the pharmacy didn't find a "reason" to interject, and hence the above mentioned hold-up. And if that weren't predictable based on past perp behavior over my state of dopamine, it would of been predictable from the general perp operations dictum/principle that I have come to know all too often;

"nothing that works, runs or fits well (e.g. clothing), or is preferred, or anything  that is convenient, efficacious, economical (some or all), will be allowed to continue without disruption, usually in the form of deniable sabotage".

Regular TI readers will also be familiar with supply chain disruptions; the most useful size of package, of food say, will suddenly be unavailable everywhere, and so one must go with smaller or larger packages. Presently, I have had a pissing match for two months with the assholes over the size of packaged coconut chunks I regularly buy; the 500g package, which I prefer, is only available in fits and starts, and supply is now only in 180g packages at almost the same price. Another example at the same store, is the elderflower syrup to add to my drinking water, but that too is supplied in fits and starts, or else, the assholes have me "forget" to look when there. One day, this same large chain supermarket was totally devoid of any eggs whatsoever. I found that unbelievable.

I also think one can apply that above quote to organizations as well; all too often they are running on all cylinders, doing their work well in terms of supply of services or products and customer care, and yet "somehow", they lose their way, and in the worse case scenario, the jerks take over, and the reductive ad absurdum bean counters begin their ascent, and the whole outfit becomes a shell of what it was.

Now that my ADD Rx intake has been sabotaged for two weeks now, many of my ailments and medical complaints are coming back. Again, I predicted this based on my research that dopamine is a hormone with widespread influences in one's body. The split shift sleeping dysfunction has come back, with a whacking 2.5 hour nap attack this evening, my muscles are stiff again, my L hand stiffness has come back, the night time leg cramps have returned and I feel generally limp after moderate amounts of exertion. Well done assholes; you have surely fucked me enough, 64 years worth in fact, of which 16 have been unbearable (overt abuse-athon), and yet you insane assholes continue to disrupt my medical care when I know exactly what the source problem is, and there are means to fix it, which you are obstructing yet again. Go fuck yourselves.

And so the Great Dopamine Fuckover continues, and I think I can apply that to humans at large; drug addictions, alcoholism, depression, learning disabilites, dementia and last, but not least, ADD behaviors, which Dr. Amen reckons costs the US some $    ... billion dollars a year.

08-24-2018
A visit to the doctor to deal with the ADD Rx problem, something the pharmacy seemed to concoct with the lamest of excuses. Even the doctor apologized on their behalf. At least I had an appointment this time and wasn't put through the mill of waiting as a walk-in clinic basis. Apparently he has sent the paperwork back with

Earlier in the day, more construction work; moving millwork around, my assigned task . "Millwork" is the term for cabinets and counters I have come to learn, though it does make me wonder who concocted this term, as dimension lumber (for house building) also comes from a wood mill. And the opening date of the new hospital (the construction project) has been pushed back to Dec. 15. When the elevator operator mentioned this scuttlebut to the assorted workers in the elevator, one guy said "no effing way....", abbreviated here of course. I don't know what trade he was, but perhaps he has a good perspective on what is really going on.

08-25-2018
I worked with the boss man for four hours this Saturday morning, getting 8' pallet loads moved to the first floor of the parkade, which then was take by a "zoom boom" (a rough ground large forklift that can project a load some 40'). Some of these long pallets took two pallet jacks to move inside as the load will still drag on the ground unless supported. Sometimes putting someone on the load to counterbalance it works too, while another person pushes it with the pallet jack. Very often the pallet jack wheel is off the ground, making it very problematic to steer the load.

And I accompanied the fork lift as it was driven up and down the two floors of the parkade, doing spotter duty. And I took pallets off and on, and heaved them into the garbage when empty. Yet again, there were hordes of dudes around me when handling the pallets; I just don't know what is so important to the perps about pallets that they need to swarm me, but they do. And how long have I been actively handling pallets,standing on them (for weeks of work days), and the rest of pallet movement/hauling/contact activity, and yet the assholes still hound my ass over this.

And I am sure that the bricklayers and their coincident pallet handling as I passed them by (many times) wasn't a fluke either, and we even helped them out by moving a few of their  pallets with the forklift. This was in exchange for them lending us their pallet jack as ours had "disappeared" in the first few hours of the work day, before my boss got there.

08-26-2018
No smoke today, but the weather is overcast, essentially replicating one grey overhead situation for another, save there is more view in the latter situation. After four weeks of smoke, that is, close-in grey sky, it clears. And what do we get? More grey sky. Talk about a summer weather rip-off; all that sunny weather was nixed.

More work today, this time with my former employer of 2015-16; she needed help with putting up nets on her own property's vineyard. She seemed much more relaxed and personable rather than when I worked for her before. Perhaps selling her larger vineyard and winery last year was a good move.

Anyhow, enough shuttling between worksites this weekend, and time to call this one done for the week.

Construction Work

08-14-2018
Started today (Tuesday) on my very first construction job, save that gig of three day one a couple of years ago, which might have been called de-construction, as I was involved in a major renovation, (read, interior demolition) of a certain fast food franchise.

Like all new hires on this site, I had to attend a safety orientation first thing. It was an hour of a video and a half hour of the site safety coordinator speaking. And what on earth was with the guy next to me, surely doing the perp's deed by getting in my way constantly, leaning his chair toward me (his back facing me), and causing me to move my chair away from him. By the end of the show he was leaning his chair back over where I had been sitting. Then he seemed to have prior permission to exit the session in the last 20 minutes, all to return again. And too, straight from the Perp 101 manual, constantly get in the way, or partially so, of the victim's view, in this case the video. I looked around at the other 20 some guys, and every one of them was concentrating on the video or the speaker, she of some considerable butt girth. So what was with this guy, and just why is it, yet again, of having the "bad luck" of sitting next to the one hyperactive Fuckwit of some 20+ guys, who was executing standard perp disruptive functions that I have come to know and loathe so often?

And too, the construction site safety rules call for a day-glo (high-viz) clothing, a vest in this case. A hard hat, and safety toed boots. The latter have been a long running concern, as I bought this pair in about 2009, and they have been in the shop more than I have worn them. The boots kept falling apart, often after a day of use, and I kept fixing them. This would be the first time they have been in use for more than three days, so who knows what the perps got planned for footwear sabotage on this gig. With the now "usual" bad luck, they will likely sabotage them about 80% into the job, and force me to purchase another pair, knowing as they surely do, this is the only safety toe pair I own.

And yes, with some 400 workers on site over six floors, there will be all manner of dudes mostly) around, but yet again, it just seemed that there were no end of them popping out from corners, turning corners when I was going in the opposite way (contraconcentric turning, mostly known with vehicles), and just plain busy-ness around me. Not having worked on such a construction site before, I don't have a pre-harassment reference (notion of normality) as to what I should expect. But if I apply the now usual standard logic of everything is arranged, (since 04-2002), it just seems yet again, the perps are going nuts from the get go.

The guys I work from seem like regular folk, and it seems they are easy to get along with, including the foreman.

08-15-2018
Another perp stunt, usually infrequent for vineyard work, but they jumped me early on this gig; the forced "forget" in taking my drinking water, even if the bottle was right where I make up my lunch. As to how I could do this on my own I have no possible explanation.

And continuing pop-outs (stalkers, aka, arranged events) from every doorway all day long.

08-16-2018
A dental cleaning appointment for 0800h  this morning. All in keeping with the usual job start disruption games that routinely "happen". Last year it was the plentiful doctor appointments that seemed to plague me when I started at a new vineyard with a crew of six.

Dinner with the landlords; they had extra pizza dough and invited me to help finish it up. As part of this seeming informal get together, (a first) they gave me a vacuum cleaner that they seemed not to need. I don't know what it is about vacuum cleaners, but the perps do like to run them in my vicinity; as always, I am circumspect about gifts anyhow. And of course, the perps go silly with extra stalking when receiving or giving gifts, e.g. Christmas.

08-17-2018
It was not enough to shave 2.5 hours off my day yesterday due to a dental cleaning appointment it seems, aka, disruption games. With Monday off (seeing the doctor in Bellevue WA), and yesterday's dental appointment, the perps (as I see it, were up to it again).

Today, no one at the construction site got to work, because a jumper was on the roof, and even though he had been there for six hours before work started at 0700h, this person wasn't communicating. The police had the site blocked off, and so it was that some 400 construction workers were held up from working, me included of course. A whole hour's work for showing up before the foreman called it off, just like some of the other trades. Not a high work hour week by any means, but a very typical start to a new job in this too long abuse-athon.

And to no surprise, the assholes are at their games of medication disruption again. I just wasn't enough to fuck me out of my ADD Rx for 16 years with outrageous, illegal and unconventional interventions, but after a month back on these very useful meds, why, I couldn't get to the walk-in clinic doctor for a Rx re-write because they close later in the day when their daily patient limit come up, so to pay Canadian Rx prices (7x cheaper), until today. And lo, a four day hiatus wasn't enough either: I get a call from the pharmacy over a drug interaction, and it is quite clear that it is no problem given what the respective doses are, (they tell me) but they "need" to phone the doctor anyhow. [Which has now extended over the weekend, as I write this, so at least a week's hiatus and counting]. Just what is it about my fucking ADD Rx that the perps are so insanely entrenched with disrupting and otherwise running abusive interference? Its all about the dopamine obviously, but for crissakes just leave me alone on this one. I have just had fucking enough, even on this one alone.

08-18-2018
It has been smokey all week, as it has been for the prior three weeks, but today it seems extra smoke was called for.  Saturday was the long scheduled leg wax, and then two hours later, a haircut at the same place. Though the assholes started off with a forced wallet "forget"; so I had to make an extra trip to retrieve it. This after plugging the meter, and lo, if that particular stall wasn't occupied when I got back 15 minutes later. Well done assholes; fuck the victim, and fuck the victim again immediately following. Merely riling the victim isn't sufficient; it has always been one of their longstanding stunts to then get the victim again after riling him up. Sometimes for four or five successive iterations. I suppose the extra busy vehicle traffic could count as one more jab at the victim while on the wallet retrieval run.

And just what is it about planting people outside my vehicle while it was parked downtown  today? With six exits or returns from/to my parked vehicle along the same stretch of a short block, (per above) why would Fuckwits be posted there each time? Not the same ones, but the same method of having them stand in the middle of the sidewalk, making themselves out to be oblivious to blocking egress.

08-19-2018
A cleaning day, and trying out my "new" vacuum cleaner. More powerful, and the rotary carpet cleaning head can be turned off while using the hose, unlike the last one. I even got serious, and mopped the linoleum. A purging of vineyard work if you will, as my clothes and boots were also dusty. And as part of that, I cleaned my gummed up Felco secateurs (hand pruners), and put on a new blade. Doubtless a big moment, and one to come, as the perps go silly over new cutting blades, and anything I cut with them, which includes knives, scissors, razor blades etc. And true to form, just when I figured was finishing the job, why, something else comes up and/or goes wrong and it takes another half hour. I have never, ever, known a task to complete early, as the assholes always have something screw up as I am closing in on completion.

Enough for this first week of construction, as disrupted as it has been, and to get this posted.

Scanning and Tattoos

09-18-2017
As a full time tattoo loather, I got my own set of three freckle-like tattoos today, along with a scan to identify where my to-be-irradiated (in med-speak, treated) prostate is. Irony of ironies, but as they are quite small, I can live with them. It was either that or else get some irretrievable gold pellets shot into said gland. And all the while a red laser beam marked the center of the scanning bed, and me when on it. And of course, the perps love firing lasers at the victim (me) as well. So here we are, a troika of perp intrusions; tattoos (loathed as artwork on others), a laser beam, and a CT (X-ray) scan. This is all to get my alignment for the focused beam treatments, 28 of them I am told, Mon-Fri, whenever they start.

The two technicians, both women, marked and scanned me, and then repeated the exercise, and once happy with their positioning, marked me permanently with ink. Funny how they pulled the frumpy one from the exercise, and kept the better looking one to finish the job. More of the swapping game I suppose, most notable at cashiers, though often male for female, or vice versa. 

For that, an hour's drive to Kelowna, and the the usual extra road traffic that accompanies me. Though to be fair, I don't have a read on this region of the world to know how much is background traffic, and how much is extra gangstalking accompaniment. I had time to go to the bookstore, and had my stalkers ahead of me there, and coursing around. Ditto for the skunk-trip to the shoe repair shop; even stalkers standing around on the street for no seeming reason, still there over the 10 minutes when I returned after finding the shoe repair shop closed this Monday. The perps just love to be all over me when I am exiting my vehicle, especially after a highway drive. And too, pulling a skunk at the same time, that is, finding a business or office is closed or not accessible (aka, dashed expectations). And I find it absolutely galling that somehow, someone knew I was in my vehicle and wanted my parking spot on the street, when it is highly doubtful they would of seen me, as it was the pull-in stall type, where other vehicles obstruct the view from the street.

And they were all over me when I set off after my appointment at the hospital; a vehicle train to trap me where I was to make my first turn, culminating in what seemed like the real perp assholes in uniform; an unmarked brown Suburban with uniformed Fuckwits inside (but not regular police), making a L turn in front of me. I am being facetious, as I don't think the perps have a uniform, any more than a CIA criminal has one, but it does beg the question as to who these mofos were.

Yoga; I didn't see this coming, but then again I am not allowed to think too far in advance, nor anticipate the perps games that I could do so accurately until 2006, when they became capable of dithering my knowledge. Here we are, post return trip from Kelowna, post CT scan, so they poured on the yogis. About 15 of them, and plenty of new cute ones too, plus some semi-regular cute ones. One of the latter wears a two piece outfit, but today she had a new two piece outfit that was smaller than the first one. Presumably a more revealing outfit to get my renewed attention for the same girl. I cannot think of any reason why these surges of yogis show up, and then it boils down to a regular crew, 8 or so.

They had plenty of early yogis attending to arrange themselves in my usual spot and at the front, so I ended up in the SE back corner. Three cute ones in front, and at the last minute they put a larger assed woman in between, even if there was other and more roomy areas she could of placed herself. For some reason of late, the perps like me to do comparisons on asses; this time arranging a larger one in front of three cute ones. Go figure.

09-19-2017
Another significant futility exercise just revealed itself. For 1.5 years I have been making my case for an generalized dopamine deficiency, which includes a SPECT scan that determined ADD (=developmental dopamine deficiency), and a recent urine test that determined dopamine deficiency. I have compiled a list of symptoms that apply to those with a dopamine deficiency. I wrote all this up and gave it to the shrink one week in advance. So today's visit was a mighty disappointment from the get-go when he appeared to not have read any of what I wrote. He went over this material while I was there, and didn't even look at the scans for crissakes, just the written determination. Then it was a long detailed listing of all what happened to me in Seattle when the perps went berserk/overt on me, and the downstream bullshit of being fucked with by shrinks who then illegally kept me in hospital and kept me on dopamine blocking agents. I dumped those mind-debilitating medications the day I got out and got better. How is that for Soviet-style treatment in a supposedly free country? Free we ain't, in the US or Canada.

And because this guy is a careful facts collector, I had to go through all the squalid history of this abuse onset, the head pain brutality, being run all over the place, gangstalking up the asshole etc. while he took notes. Naturally, there wasn't enough time for the whole story, and so this shrink summed up the deal about dopamine deficiency/ADD by saying, "I don't see it there". Well the SPECT scan shows it, and ADD doesn't go away, so what was there to "see"? Never mind that I did 90% of the talking and he asked no ADD diagnostic questions. Thanks a lot perps, another go-nowhere shrink, aka, dopamine treatment obstruction.

As to his determination on the harassment, he says, "why you?". How am I supposed to know, save that the perps have an inordinate interest in dopamine. Anyhow, there were plenty of "stop there" during my revelations, which tells me he didn't want to know a whole lot about specific details. So here we go again; a big nothing over dopamine treatment, exactly what I predicted months ago, and I waited six months for this. Sure, another appointment is scheduled in December, but today's opening gambit tells me the whole deal is over. Am I fucking pissed or what?

Dopamine is a hormone of significant and wide influence, and doctors and endocrinologists just don't/won't get it. (Here are some links; dopamine1 (easy read, 4 pp), dopamine2 (longer read, 11pp), dopamine3 (technical read, 33pp). Why have I been beating my head at this wall, or more like, led to this place, for over 20 years, and to no avail? When I first identified I had ADD from clinical books, and lectures from doctors, four shrinks in succession blew me off. Finally, I got the SPECT scan in 2001 which came back exactly with what I told them, and I took the appropriate medications (new doctor) and felt much, much better. That is, until 04-2002 when the perps went berserk/overt and outed themselves with their abusive and psychopathic harassment, which still continues to this day, though not as intense as then. If it hadn't been for the recent prostate cancer and urinary issues (both mediated by dopamine), I never would of gone to any shrink. This entire episode has been another big, very big, nothing. One that has huge medical ramifications for the next 20 years, and has already manifested itself in part by way of prostate cancer. Thanks assholes.

Onto small nothings; I see my "fickle friend" (co-worker from last year, 2016) was texting, and says we can meet sometime in October in Kelowna (one hour drive away), as he travels there for his physiotherapy. I will be there on a daily basis then too. So WTF; we both live in Penticton, and now this lame-assed excuse to meet in another city comes up in a month's time? For the record, I helped him for six weekends to take him shopping as he was crippled from knee surgery, having split his knee cap in May. (And I have done nothing to piss him off). We always have lively conversations, and got along well as co-workers in 2016, and have similar dispositions and intellectual curiosities. Anyhow, more of the same, from the same quarter, disappointing as it is. As an aside, the above mentioned shrink found the term "fickle friend" hilarious. Unexpectedly humorous I am, or perhaps, he was letting on he has a sense of humor. Go figure.

Saw Amy Helm tonight; she and her very capable band put on a good show. I didn't get the waitress banging me into me 4x like last time, though I was in a different seat against the far wall. Cindy Cashdollar was on steel guitar, and was the consummate supporting musician.  I needed a reprieve from the disastrous shrink visit earlier, and the show more than served the purpose.

09-20-2017
I had my 1-5 tooth extracted this morning, as it was broken, plus some X-rays on the other side where another (similar) problem seems to be brewing. And were there enough masers floating around the whole time, this time the small black dot variety that likes to arrive and stay on top (or between) of a feature, say corner of the lamp, edge of the pillar for the lamp etc. And plenty of fleeting plasma beams, projecting from the linear features of the room mostly, e.g. window frame, vertical wall edge etc. Nothing new to me when I go to any medical facility and sit down on the chair. And what is with the dentist? She doesn't set up the next appointment/referral and I had to ask the dental assistant all the particulars and get it set up. Having a go-between for information transfer seems to be a big deal for the perps for whatever reason, as is any facet related to acquiring knowledge, retaining knowledge, deploying knowledge etc. A significant component of the objectives of what they seem to be after for whatever reason.

09-21-2017
A 11 hour sleep for whatever reason, with fitful awake time as well. My daughter has now, after 15 months, acknowledged my prostate cancer and is encouraging me to look after myself and says that these treatments have a high rate of success. I hope so too. But the question remains as to why she started this dialog when I told her on the first day of my biopsy result, that I had prostate cancer? And coincidentally, it was her birthday, and we were in communication because I was wishing her well, via phone call. Cynically, I would call this a "two-fer"; in this case a communication event that served two purposes, for  birthday greetings and my significant health news. For that, it takes the perps to manage events IMHO, as they seem to manage me down to the last microsecond.

I finally figured out why the perps want to jump on my ass whenever I complete something; one gets a small dopamine surge just then, satiating the mid-brain reward center. Often, the perps will delay completion as things "happen" to go wrong, or in the case of working for employers, they will move me to another task so someone else gets to complete what I was working on. And lest you think it is just me in all this, the root cause of addictions is about creating a dopamine surge. In some cases you don't have enough, or in other cases the dopamine is broken down too fast. There may be other variations too. Soo... what is going on out there that a massive amount of the human race has addictions, and are they too being covertly monitored or surveilled for dopaminergic dysfunction? And why is the clinical community, save a few players who do it right with an assist from brain imaging technologies, got their heads in the sand? (Putting it politely).

09-22-2017
Fall officially begins today, which means the fall equinox. Though, with the 15-20C daily temperatures of late, it seems fall began two weeks ago. With no vineyard work on, the cancer treatments soon, I am being kept in employment limbo. Even the picking at the two vineyards seems to getting done by imported crews from the wineries, rather than the minions who got it into shape all growing season, from pruning to present.

09-23-2017
Saturday, and a dick all day it was, save going to the farmer's market in the morning to get fresh salad vegetable.

09-24-2017
Sunday, and I got out for a hike, along the trail that was used for an obstacle course competition yesterday. So hundreds of trail runners were on this trail yesterday. No big deal, and who knows how all this fits in the perp harassment scheme.

Dropped in at my former employer of 2012-2015 on the way back. I haven't seen any particular major capital improvements at his vineyard and small winery that might have come his way as a possible reward, a rare exception in the trail of largesse that seems to follow me, even before the harassment began 04-2002. All was well, sort of; his 62 y.o younger wife want to move to an assisted living arrangement, far removed from running a 5 acre vineyard and a small winery. She is in reasonable health, is able bodied and all, so I don't get it.

And I see by way of email that the person who is handling my malfunctioning stereo amplifier is claiming that there is nothing wrong with it. He says its the sources or cables or both. I just ran all three sources through my ancient headphone amplifier and all three work fine, keeping the same source-cabling. So it would seem that the perps are up to their usual shit again; fucking the gear, having it sent back, and then no problem is found. Then it gets returned to me, and I continue to have the same problems. Not that this person is any bit keen to really find out; not a phone call or anything. That is what one gets in this new world of online sales, though brick and mortar sales outlets don't guarantee diligent service either.

Or maybe it is a total jerkaround to force me back to headphone listening again, something they did from 2005 to 2016. For all the crap I have been through over stereo amplifiers, I don't get it. They screwed with my 15 y.o YBA amplifier such that it wasn't working properly, and after it was returned from the Chicago repair depot, it still wasn't working. I was livid. Then I had to sent it back again, and four months later, it was finally working again. I was so pissed with this fuckery over an older amp, I got a new one. (After checking out that it gets fixed back at the factory). And lo, it is this new one (now one year old) that isn't working. So just what is it about music sources, stereo amplifiers, speakers, headphones, cables, and cable colors and materials that so interests the perps that they continue a 15 year long sabotage assault on all of this? And when will they be done? I reckon they have another 15 years of combinations and permutations to run through in all of this.

They pulled this shit in 2002 in Seattle when I purchased a combination gauss-electrical meter only the electrical signal detector worked fine, so I sent it back. They pronounced it all working, and sent it back to me. By then, all kinds of things were going wrong, as well as the debilitating head pains, and I figured then, as now, it was a perp stunt. Of course I wanted the gaussmeter function the most as it seemed the nature of the harassment was magnetic. (For example, I could get relief from the pain beaming with headphones on, or in my vehicle). When when I moved the meter's switch to gauss, the reading blanked out. I ended up renting an industrial gaussmeter from California and got readings of 180-200 gauss in my apartment 13 stories up. Why the perps put me through all that I have no idea, but they like to have objects come from different geographic locations and have them returned. I returned the gaussmeter to the rental agency, but I will never, ever, forget the intense head pounding pain that came on while at the courier's counter while they did all the paper work, and I paid them. (A financial transaction note, another major perp Fuckover moment).

Enough for a week, and it seems just too dull to do daily blogs like I did back in the unemployed years they kept me in.

Beautiful Inhale

07-24-2017
"Beautiful inhale" is the term the new yoga instructor frequently uses for taking a deep breath. She is young and bubbly, always smiling, a bit like an effervescent hippy girl of long ago. I don't particularly take to those who are constantly smiling as I find this rapport at odds with my own persona. (Like, is she crazy?) I am beginning to warm up to her, and it helps that she is as lithesome as she is well proportioned. And blonde and young. Such is the male mind, totally distractable by the female form.

Though the perps do love to plant people who first seem objectionable in some aspect, and monitor me while I later re-evaluate my opinion of them.

Another day of tucking vines, and it seems I got a break productivity-wise, as the second varietal has a more vertical growing habit, and doesn't need the degree of effort to get them erect from flopping down.

Another skunk at the walk-in doctor's office, same as Saturday. The perps plugged it up enough that their "quota" of patients was exceeded by 1515h. In this realm of state managed medical care, they allow full reimbursement up to 80 (?) patients a day. After that, the state only reimburses the doctors by half that. Ergo, this clinic shuts down after the prescribed number of patients at full reimbursement. The perp assholes choked the place two days ago on Saturday morning, and so I thought I would take the risk and try today, Monday afternoon. In the past I did not have a problem at this time of day, but now I do. Thanks a bunch.

And predictably, the last pill of selegiline was this morning, so I will go at least a day without it. Which fits the pattern of perp fuckery; constantly messing with my supply of medicine or supplements so I end up skipping them when I had absolutely no intention to do so. No good habit goes unpunished (unsabotaged) or useful medication goes undisrupted.

And what was the deal last night, when the perps kept me up for at least three hours before they let me sleep? The usual tossing and turning, mostly the latter. And a new stunt; I was in a light sleep and the assholes portrayed an ant crawling around in my "vision", or more like visual cortex. I immediately jumped, as I have been inundated with ants for months now, and I nail every one. They even had ants crawling on this here LCD display a few months ago. And it seems a new hatch is out in the kitchen now.

07-25-2017
I worked two vineyards today, about 3 km apart today, same employer. I suppose that isn't too different from last year when my employer had a vineyard 5 km away from their winery site vineyard where I reported most days.

Then I stopped work an hour early to go to the naturopath, and I am always a bit circumspect as she is so vague at times. My iron is low she says, and then doesn't have anything to offer as to how to fix it. Then, for the protocol she said she would develop for my upcoming radiotherapy for prostate cancer, all she showed me the page from a naturopathic oncology book for crissakes. Then I mention the methylation topic she introduced me to last visit, that went nowhere.

Eventually I had to promote the IV vitamin C therapy she offers, as part of preparing for radiotherapy. She wasn't adverse to doing it, but gosh, I expected her to be little more with it. I never did get a baseline plasma vitamin C level test from her last visit, so this whole deal doesn't have a quantifiable start or end state.

07-26-2017
In the orchestrated juggling of clinical events, the above IV vitamin C "happened" during the two day span of not taking selegiline. No coincidence that considering the insane fuckery that goes on manipulating the "forgets" over taking supplements and planned "shortages".

I finally got into the walk-in doctor today, who wasn't too moved to offer an alternative, as the selegiline is giving me tingling toes. This guy seemed a little more professional than the last time, as I mentioned that a dopamine shortage is manifested in a number of ways, and listed some, and he just stared at me. This time, on account of the tingling toes, more blood tests. Anyhow, he did say the shrink I am to see in September is "on top of it", and also offered that he is "thorough". So maybe, a real doctor that knows something about dopamine is in the offing, though I am not going to hold my breath, as I consider them to be constrained by the perps, and by way of past experience, have written them off as the Liar's Club.

Post IV vitamin C today, and I feel better. It was 34C today, and I felt fine. Though the perps did add some adverse fuckery games while tucking vines; scrambling me as to what wire (# 2 or 3) I am working on, as we are putting both up, after dropping each. Another trick they like to do is to cross them up, to create more angst and confusion as to which wire is what. And too, this adversity "blows up" near row ends, their favorite place to add more adversity, outside noise, and of course, the gangstalking co-workers who "happen" to be there. Have I beaten on the theme enough, that the perps are obsessed over any direction changes I make, seeming to fit with changes of energetic anisotropy they so like to remotely monitor. Even the crew boss' dog is in on it.

At the Rx counter at the LD store, a wacko stalker comes up behind me and says "nice legs", presumably in reference to my own tanned and waxed legs. I look at him like he was nuts, and just when I am about to enter my PIN number, he flicks his arm out and crouches low for some mysterious reason. I look at him again, like he is really nuts.

As it "happened", the pharmacy tech at the counter thought the "nice legs" remark was directed at her, even if her legs were hidden by the counter, and responded in kind. If I couldn't see her legs how could the Fuckwit behind me do so? Anyhow, I finish my transaction on the debit card machine and wander off. In a few minutes, while at the second cashier at LD, I get a call on my phone, but of course I wasn't allowed to answer it as the ringing stopped as soon at I touched it. (Usual phone answering sabotage). Later I review the message at home and it was the pharmacy tech, explaining at length as to how embarrassed she was at responding to the "nice legs" comment from the Fuckwit wacko (my term), who she thought was with me for some perverse reason. I phoned back and got another pharmacy tech, and conveyed my observation that there was no need for embarrassment etc. All too strange, and of course timed for that very moment of intense perp fuckery, making a financial transaction.

07-27-2017
More boring vine tucking in the heat; "only" 32C today. Plenty more mind fuck games over the tucking; e.g. what trellis wire belongs where, and finding out if they are crossed, laterally, or vertically. One row had me infuriated for at least 30 min. Then it was lunch time, and lo, some 30 minutes after lunch, they started that shit up again.

Another blood test today, the second in a week. Obviously the IV vitamin C, and restarting selegiline after two days off is a big deal. Though, I have a sense the perps can withdraw blood from me by teleportation means anytime they want. As to why they have me go through the conventional method is unclear to me. Perhaps they need more mortals to come in contact with my blood, say, handling the test tubes. The usual gut strut stalkers in there;

 07-29-2017
A day off, Saturday, and one that became food acquisition oriented. The farmer's market, a major gangstalk scene as it is such a clusterfuck, though less so when I go early. I had a male bun-head with a major tattoo attack down his arms hounding my ass. The regular stand I go to was staffed with the regular woman, who for the first time in two years, put on a very friendly persona today. She has always been a bit cautious, if not furtive, but not unfriendly. But this time she put on a big smile for crissakes. Funny how I get these personality transformations all the time, which I did before all this shit rained down on me in 04-2002.

Then to the new-old specialty grocer, now changed hands, as it was a Penticton landmark for over 40 years. And lo, with the new points system they now have, the cashier addressed me by my first name. Under the old ownership, this never happened, even with their own points system. Since the cashier worked under the old ownership, this was (to me) quite the transformation.

Then onto hiking, and my tanning plans came to little, even after packing the 2kg portable cot in my pack. There were bear sightings posted and I didn't feel like going to the more remote area by myself. Just maybe the perp's planted this anxious notion, something they are long practiced at. Then after the 2 hour hiike, onto the adjacent farm store where I picked up my pre-ordered 3lb of basil. The cashier was chatty and pleasant, another case of persona change going back some four years. It was last year she became friendly, which has continued. Again, these persona changes seem to be arranged over long periods, and for whatever reason, though under the rationale of habituation, they change.

And my evening plans to join my work-injured colleague came to naught; he claimed he wasn't feeling up to it in a text I received when I was halfway down the hill during my hike. Perhaps he got the word to beg off from the perps, who made some kind of determination after I spent my lunch in the sun. The assholes also had me "forget" to take a spoon or a fork, and with no substitutes, so I had to use my fingers. For someone who loathes a mess on my hands, the assholes got me big time.

This eating utensils fuckery has been going on for over two years now, and I am getting severely pissed about this. These "forgets" over bringing my titanium fork, spork or whatever have got way out of control. Sometimes as a result of a forced "forget" I have a knife, and scoop lunchtime food with the back edge of it. Then the fuckery advanced to the point that I had to borrow a fork from the winery at work, this year and last. So to prevent more inconvenience, I keep a spare utensil in my regular day pack and vehicle glove box. Today, the assholes had me take my large back for the portable cot, which turned out to be a ruse (per above), which does not have any spare utensil set in it. So I was caught out, and had no knife either. So what in the fuck is it that is so important to the perps over what eating (or food preparation) utensils I use? And this insane bullshit for over 15 years as part of their targeted relentless abuse and harassment program all because they don't have the gumption to show their face and declare their intentions. I just don't understand how such a large and pervasive organized with unlimited funds could be so fundamentally rigid over keeping me, and other TI's, as kept human lab rats over this principle of non-declaration. Like who are they fooling?

07-30-2017
Sunday, but a working day at a part time vineyard, doing S side de-leafing. The perps had me "forget" to bring my water bottle today, so I had to settle for cup fulls from the outside hos bib. The "cup" being my lunch container, usually for pecans which I had to eat first. Another forced "forget" was the selegiline medication, not taking it with my breakfast, my usual routine. Another forced "forget" was my current habit of preparing my vehicle for a hot day while parked; I always open the windows a crack and put up the reflective wind shield on the inside. I have been doing this every hot day for months, and I "happen" to forget? At lunch time I made the trip to the vehicle to put all in order. But why?

Anyhow, the perps have ground me into a rage-fied state tonight after a day of working outside in the heat, scrambling my usual prudent food preparation habits. Enough of this pedantic trivia, and onto posting this for the week.

More Doctor Blow Offs

05-15-2017
I wanted to get going on dopamine treatment of some kind as it has immune system considerations, in particular for my prostate cancer. (I am ADD, and by definition, dopamine deficient. And there are a number of scientific papers which correlate cancer to dopamine deficiency, dopamine being an immune system mediator among its many significant roles on the so-called "peripheral systems", aka, non-Central Nervous System). Referrals take a year or more sometimes, and I wanted to get on with this so I tried for a appointment to see the "good doctor", the one that has been helpful on some fronts in the last two years, but not with respect to dopamine despite her name dropping of a certain past helpful Rx last visit in 01-2017. So when I got a phone appointment for this major initiative (as I see it, and I have mentioned this to her before), I was not impressed.

And so today's 15 min. phone appointment turned into a big nothing. No Rx, and "wait" again, for the useless jerk urologist to review my PSA test in a month. Wait for what? More cancer to show up for crissakes? If no cancer then what?

And what IS IT ABOUT MY STATE OF DOPAMINE, that so interests a Psychopathic Confederacy that they ripped me off from taking a very useful Rx that increased my dopamine and made me well from 2000 to 04-2002, when this reign of abusive terror suddenly began? Bad enough in dealing with ADD for 46 years, then I start getting better in 2000, and then hounds of extreme hell descend on me in 04-2002 with a concocted story to which the criminal shrinks complied, to then force me to take medications that blocked dopamine and predictably, made me feel substantially worse. It was fucking criminal then, and is now, and was nothing short of living in a gulag in a supposedly free country, Canada. (With US based support too).

There ought to be an award for outstanding clinical criminality called the Dr. Ewan Cameron Award for Clinical Criminality, named after the CIA supported mofo who trashed patient/victims brains in Montreal, 1950-1962 roughly. If I were to award it, it would go to the certain doctor who pulled the above mentioned involuntary dopamine blocking enforcement stunt in 2002, and then in 2003 for five months. I will never forgive that asshole as long as I live. Other TI's report fast and loose "treatment"/abuse at the hands of psychiatrists, which begs the question as to whether they are all corrupted.


I just may of met the Scottish immigrant Dr Ewan Cameron mofo, as he did do "psychiatry" on children as reported by Carol Rutz, "A Nation Betrayed", and I lived in Montreal in 1956-57 and 1958-59. Though that would be during the memory deleted years 1956-59, aged 2-5 y.o. It is most curious the perps arrange these warbling Scottish accented Fuckwits to say something in my presence, and I simply cannot stand their accent, another new dislike that has erupted since they went berserk/overt on me in 04-2002.  Books....

So here we are now, 15 years since 04-2002 that began as senseless and relentless abuse such as directed head beam pain, gangstalking, extra-conventional physical activity, plasma and maser beams and being kept in a densified magnetic field, and still the assholes are  blocking my access to dopamine treatment. And the urgency is not so much ADD, but urinary problems, prostate cancer, dysthymia, low libido and a few others I won't get into. And still they thwart me, yet continue to manage, if not worsen, these symptoms. And of course, obstruct treatment.

Don't forget that from 1996-2000 that the assholes had three shrinks and a neurologist blow me off about not having ADD. I had read the clinical text books the doctors study, and it seemed to be plain obvious. Finally I got a SPECT scan and it was exactly as I diagnosed myself; ADD-Inattentive subtype. Chances are that I didn't "happen" to run into a string of inept clinicians, but it too was another insane obstruction of medical care that I desperately needed at the time. And here we go again; fucking the victim out of his needed Rx when it is plain obvious what the diagnosis is, (further supported by a recent urine test) and this whole clinical atrocity is now repeating again 20 years later. One has to given them credit for tenacity, but why not leave me the fuck alone? Or else let the cancer rip and call it done. I simply cannot handle this insane and relentless obstruction of my medical care, especially after being put through the hoops and mazes of researching the problem (again), all to hit the another wall (per above). Just leave me the fuck alone or let me die.

Given the government notion of regarding addiction as a criminal event, it makes me wonder if there isn't a bigger game out there, called Non-Consensual Population Dopamine Reduction Research, littered with the human wreckage that addictions bring. And how many centuries has this been going on? And here we have it; the path of all addictions lead to dopamine.

Planting vines all day today; the perps seem to like me doing planting, as much as weeding. No wonder they have me alternate these activities in the same day.

Got screwed out of yoga again while all dressed up for it as I got a phone call from my Farmer Friend (who never normally calls), and lo, if it wasn't timed to have me "forget" to go to yoga.  This is the second week in succession of this stunt, and will be followed by a third as next Monday is a national holiday. The perps never pull one-of yoga class obstructions but string them into twos and threes. So here we go again. More pointless and senseless obstructions over fuck all.

05-16-2017
Digging all day today; first holes for planted vines all morning, and then back to weeding. The rain was on-off, and on when the planting holes were dug, and the boss man gave the crew the option of working in the afternoon. Only the NZ woman and I took up the offer, so I worked with her digging weeds all afternoon. Again; on-off rain in the afternoon.

Then to the tire shop to have my summer times put on, as I packed them in my vehicle in the morning, and they stayed in the vehicle all day. And one can always expect extra hijinks when it comes to tires, as the perps are totally nuts about them. (Tire rubber has earth (photonic) energies in it from the tree growth).

Before waiting there I went to the nearby specialty grocery store and as I entered, the construction babe from last year's house build next to the vineyard was at the checkout, but looking the other way. No big deal; I get these "sightings" all the time nowadays. I did my shopping for 10 minutes and went to the grocery section, and then three gangstalkers arrived. One stood exactly in front of the ginger which was the one remaining item I wanted to get, and stayed just standing there not even pretending to shop. Eventually I gave up and went to the check out. All to go through another cashier swap, becoming standard perp practice nowadays. The more attractive one was swapped out after the customer in front of me and I got the fugly older woman, a long time regular.

Anyhow, I wander the block or so back to the tire shop, and lo, from a parked black pickup truck, out pops said construction babe to say hello, as she was headed to Value Village next door. We chatted for a minute or so, she getting a little close, and went our separate ways. She was going to Value Village to get a yellow shirt she said, and lo, if a useless taxi parking up the street wasn't yellow. Given the timing, she should of been long gone, or a least, not sitting in her boyfriend's truck when I was walking by, but I am now long familiar with these managed coincidences.

Then I wait at the tire shop, and the cutie from the shoemaker shop "happens" to be stopping by. She is always friendly to me (no pleasant/unpleasant/ignore me turncoat games), and per usual, greeted me with her warm smile. I responded in kind, and noted that she is now blonde, formerly brunette. It seemed that she was in for major vehicle repairs from what I overheard. So two babes I happened to peripherally know arrive into my sphere within 5 minutes of each other while dealing with automotive tires.

I also got the "kiddie stalk treatment" while in the waiting area. A woman who was playing with her 3 year old son outside all the time (20 min.) while I was out shopping, brings him into the tire shop and he ends up in the seat beside me, being hyper, and just about runs into me, no doubt another exercise in testing my L side peripheral vision for threat assessments. The kid seemed to be extremely reluctant to sit beside me at first, being directed by his mother a few times. Like WTF; was it some kind of glow all around me or something else?

And lo, if the mechanic didn't discover a leaking power steering pump while the vehicle was up on the hoist. I had noticed that it made extra noise while turning, so no doubt I have more vehicle repairs to suck down my meager savings.

05-17-2017
Yes, the power steering is going for a crap, though the fluid isn't leaking too much. I phoned the automotive (and tire) shop per above, and they cannot book me in until Friday (Wednesday today). So here we are, just ahead of a May long weekend, and my ass will be against the wall as to whether these repairs can be done, and at least, economically done.

A similar work day as yesterday, but with no rain, and even a little sun. I was planting all morning with the new girl, and then weeding in the afternoon with the NZ woman. This time I brought my 18V battery powered grinder to work and sharpened her's and my shovels which made a big difference in reducing weeding effort. But not enough to prevent a two hour nap attack this evening. As usual, I have not been running a sleep deficit.

Though the perps pulling nap attacks when starting into new books is not new; I received "The US Navy's Secret Space Program & Nordic Extraterrestrial Alliance" yesterday, and somehow "forgot" to take it to work to read over the 45 min. lunch break. (I was allowed to remember to take the grinder and a book for the NZ woman).

05-18-2017
Another "forget" in bringing the above book to work to read at break. Instead, I was entertained by a marmot for 40 minutes at lunch while listening to music in my vehicle.

And it was digging weeds all day today, the first half by myself, which I didn't expect. Therefore, no headphones were taken to work, so I got to listen the many aircraft overhead instead. Quite a variety of aerial stalkers today, even a pair of single engine aircraft in formation, both of the same type/make. The aerial fire drop tanker was in action again for two over-flights; on one pass it was trailing smoke in some kind of trajectory trace capacity I assume. It was not related to engine failure or anything irregular.

At 1000h, the first break, it was getting very sunny and warm, and so I changed into my shorts. And lo, 15 minutes later, the sun was behind cloud for the rest of the day, though still warm. I cannot count the number of times the perps play sunlight exposure games when I get ready for getting a decent tan.

And I see that the power steering fluid is leaking a whole lot now; the reservoir was drained today after I topped it up yesterday. It gets seen to tomorrow, and with attendant wallet impact anxiety. Another perp specialty; crank the angst. Just hilarious.

05-19-2017
Got a ride from the boss man this morning, so my vehicle could be dropped off at the repair shop. And lo, if the power steering pump needs replacement. Had I not got screwed around and ordered it on online that night it might of made it here by today, and I would of saved $120 in the process. Buying parts from repair shops is getting too expensive. And so, into a long weekend with very limited driving capability.

Shoot thinning in the vineyard all day today, breaking the toil of hard labor of digging the weeds. And nice weather too; the storms came later in the evening in a stroke of good timing (ahem).

05-20-2017
Saturday, and sunny weather the whole day. Not that I could get tanned for hours on end as my knee cap injured colleague needed to be ferried about, and I got some errands done too.

The power steering pump was leaking plenty, so I didn't go far.

Just finished reading "The US Navy's Secret Space Program & Nordic Extraterrestrial Alliance" by Michael Salla. The book has plenty of substantiating documentation and eye witness reports to indicate the US Navy has space ships on high. This was also confirmed by the inadvertent release of their crew movement orders to ships that didn't exist (sea borne ones) in a leak of their data by a UK hacker a few years back. From the book, it would seem that the FBI, Navy and the Russians have a strong alliance with the Nordics. But the CIA and the rest of the US military, and former Nazis, have an alliance with the Reptilians, the archenemies of the Nordics. The latter have large bases in Antarctica. The Nordics have bases in Utah to help construct the kilometers long Navy space ships apparently. Obviously unconventional propulsion systems are involved in getting these monstrosities to fly, and hold their position above the Earth.

Also interesting is that the son of a US Navy admiral, Leslie Oliver IV was likely the pass-through of the US Navy's knowledge of space technology and the players, and that this was conveyed to Gene Rodenberry who created Star Trek from what he was told. The Nordics are the Vulcans, and the Reptilians are the Klingons. Another "soft disclosure" in the parlance of this book. As is Battlestar Galactica, also fomented by Leslie Oliver. Interesting, as it confirms what I saw on Camelot.org about deep technology concepts being released to form the premise of science fiction films.

The book was published in early 2017, and has a chapter on US President Trump being a US Navy supporter, as well as his warm contacts with Putin and Russia. And too, the FBI gave him a big assist before the November 2016 presidential elections by strangely invoking suspicions about Hillary Clinton that were retracted. It does make one wonder how on Earth (so to speak) the Trump administration can disrupt the embedded Reptilian control of most of the US defense apparatus.  The book also suggests there will be public release of government involvement with extraterrestrials, but I am not optimistic as the lid has been nailed down countless times over this aspect.

Another snippet of interest is there was mention of mind controlled women for sexual purposes dating back to the 1930's, as part of the aliens' deal with Hitler, which also included "antigravity propulsion, beam weapons extended life, and plenty of mind-controlled willing girls programs" (p. 47). Very interesting. Other TI related snippets mentioned in this book were age-regression (done to me), and memory wiping (done to me, per above). The operational arrangement is that one gets one's recall wiped back to the age they are regressed to, which is not true in my case. Other than that, there was no TI related scientific interest or human experimentation objectives that I could find in the book.

I am still digesting the whole thing, and wonder if the whole Nordic-Reptilian conflict isn't also arranged in some way, as each of their weapons are ferocious and of wide scale if deployed. And of course, it begs the question, which of the two is screwing the hell out of me and other TI's? (The telepathic mind feed I get is that it is the Nordics, but one cannot believe anything from Them). My vote is the Reptilians, as they are depicted to be the most vicious, soulless, aggrandizing and ruthless. The Nordics come across as the good guys (and girls).

And to make matters all the more mixed up, each of the extraterrestrial groups have their own in the disguise of humans here on Earth, on spying and sabotage missions; "biological robots" was the term, though I could count myself as one, though merely a human non-consensual experimentation subject/victim.

And if the Nazis had Reptilian help with advanced technologies, though not ready for being deployed in warfare, why didn't they advance this more (or delay the start of hostilities) and have them win WWII? Even their jet aircraft technology ME 262 first flew in 1941 but didn't become operational until mid-1944 due to metallurgical problems with the jet engines. If they had they would of been the superior air force. From the book, the Nazi Antarctic initiative (base, and technology advancement) was wholly separate from the German mainland initiative dating back to 1913, and that they (the overarching controlling "They") were ready to concede on the latter.

And it still begs the question as to why haven't one of these extraterrestrial groups taken on the other in a public and likely, Earth destructive conflict, an expanded dust-up like they did in 1561 in Nuremburg. (Caveat; other sites call it a sun related "parhelia" effect). What is each of them waiting for, or are they being restrained in some way? I don't get it, the big picture that is. There is something very universally fundamental they (either party, or a subsuming party) want from us Earth-lab dwellers, and TI's are in the hot-seat as to this human experimentation agenda. Or why don't the Reptilian agents take out the Nordic TI's, or vice-versa? That would not be too difficult for each to find out the subjects of the other given the extensive spying and ether-exploiting technologies they have.

The book "The US Navy's Secret Space Program & Nordic Extraterrestrial Alliance" is recommended for those who wish to explore the whole extraterrestrial angle on what is going on in this world, especially so for its supporting documentation. So yes, I believe what it presents as largely true. As for the "disclosure" hope, I would respectively suggest it just isn't going to happen. (In fact, JFK's assassination may have something to do with this, per Salla's book, "Kennedy's Last Stand"). Ergo, Trump in hot water currently (as he always will be due to liberal knee-jerk bleating) and the (absurd) "impeachment" news chatter has started up. A good companion book is "Selected by Extraterrestrials: My life in the top secret world of UFOs, think-tanks and Nordic secretaries" by William Tompkins, one who was there during the days of the WWII spying on the Nazi advanced technology programs, and when the technologies were adopted by US aircraft manufacturers.

05-21-2017
A visit to my knee cap damaged friend in the evening, after I sharpened his three pairs of hand pruners in the morning. I took a bottle of wine over, but he was already sauced when I got there. Its not pretty to see a drunk on crutches, but thankfully it was in his apartment, excepting that he needed to go outside to smoke a cigarette, and barely transversed the stairs. He said he fell down earlier, so I assume this was also due to drink. So here he has three months of physiotherapy ahead of him, and seemingly is psychologically maladjusted for this long run. I sense there are a number of dysfunctional behaviors going on, so this shall be interesting in a guarded "hope nothing happens" way.

Anyhow, a long weekend here in Canada, so I shall get this posted, now Monday morning.

From Vineyard to Warehouse

06-06-2016
Lots of sixes in today's date; don't know what that means in perp terms, save that they just love repetition and alliteration. Not my problem.

Busy on this very hot day, 37C, as it was plenty warm even at 0800h when I was busy weeding, cutting weed trees and spraying them at the roadside on a steep bank. Then onto hauling wine cases, and then to the concrete enclosed warehouse at 1030h to make up a complex shipping order. Then onto making up cardboard boxes for another shipping tomorrow. My work confrere joined me for the latter task, and we got most of it done at 1600h.

Then onto yoga for only four other yogis, all female. Typically I get 10 or more other yogis to accompany me, but for some reason a dearth. Or perhaps, yogi-stalkers. I still get screwed doing balances, but not as bad as I used to for some reason. Only four years of 1x/week yoga and I am now finally allowed to balance better on one foot.

06-07-2016
A day of working in the warehouse and packing wine for shipments. Four others, one being a hire just for the day, this dude with tattoos around his neck for crissakes. The other guy is my regular co-worker, he of tattoos on his forearms. Enough tattoo exposure for a week, but the perps weren't done. Not in this town on a sunny day when the dudes with no shirts are strutting out with tattoos of course. And one sit-down dude on my way back was full of tats down his arm. Fucking disgusting; and if I don't like tattoos, I don't see why I must be hounded with this self-inflicted body defacing artifice everywhere I go. I suppose the single tattoo on the above mentioned yoga instructor's foot yesterday was a warm-up cookie.

An early end to the day, and then to the urologists office for the result of my prostate biopsy. I had a notion that the assholes would pull something, and the extra vehicular gangstalking and clusterfucking on the way there was another tip-off. And lo, I have a moderate level of prostate cancer, a 7 (4+3) on this scale they use. I am beyond the urologist's "surveillance" protocol, (meaning monitoring it), and so a CT scan and a bone density scan to follow before he decides what to do. No symptoms would be expected for five years if left untreated. Screwed and screwed again; give me the cancer and get me out of this infernal abusive existence ASAP. No such "luck" in TI World where victim infuriation and sufferance escalation are the key elements to running (subjugating) the subject (victim).

Then a blood test to follow, and I see now they are putting on the dudes to do the blood draw and have the blonde woman stand nearby, or cruise by in front. Worse, he was curly haired, and do I ever loathe the sight of curly hair for some unfathomable reason.

And more semi-bizarre activity in the blood draw clinic on this momentous occasion; they had a trades man Fuckwit doing measurements with his yellow measuring tape all the time while I was there. Also, his ladder was parked outside the door. Presumably this is for some kind of imminent office renovation, but as the perps constantly noise-stalk me over making measurements of anything, I cannot assume it was anything but another perp stunt.

And above news was sprung on me on my daughter's birthday, she duly phoning just as I was departing the blood draw clinic. As it was a cell phone and reception is usually limited in elevators, I took the call outside the clinic and sat on the bench outside the clinic. And of course they had me blab all about my biopsy results, which will duly find its way to the First Feral Family. They have legit means to find out, and seem to work it together, one borrowing (or was supplied) information from the other. Even if I haven't spoken with my daughter since 01-2016. Funny how that happens.

06-08-2016
A three hour nap attack this evening; I haven't had one for a while, but as the evening tiredness imposition seems to become more frequent, one can expect a longer sleep hit.

And the assholes almost ran me off the road after work, an "inattention" jerkaround.

Worked on a steep roadside bank for two hours taking out the sumac foliage, both mechanically and with some roundup applied to cuts on the stub. Or else I pulled the root system out. And of course the vehicular traffic and noise was increased. And what is it about dudes and their pickup trucks needing to have extra noisy mufflers nowadays, and of course, tromp on the accelerator to make even more noise as they pass by?

Then onto landscaping duties later, then pallet load assembly, and then garbage detail. I even got to run the forklift to make the latter task a whole lot easier. I am a certified fork lift operator, but my employer discourages such activity with excuses du jour. But the reality is: do I spend 20 minutes getting 28 40lb boxes down from 10' up on a ladder, or spend 5 minutes to do the same with the fork lift? It seemed like a no-brainer with a straight-in run to get the pallet, lift the load, back up 6' and put it down. And thankfully it was uneventful.

I swapped back to my tricyclic medication today, dropping the L-tyrosine and L-phenylalanine, both contra-indicated. Hopefully with minimal effect, though the perps have a long history of exploiting medication changes.

06-09-2016
The assholes had me "forget" to take my tricyclic medication today, they of the insane fuckery over what color my pills and supplements are. No ill effects.

Though the assholes are hitting me with tiredness at day's end, good for a 30 min. sit down of doing squat. I suppose all this serves some purpose, but I don't know what, or how it will be sanitized under a conventional clinical cause.

And lo, the "good doctor" (mostly) has indicated that I not continue with my DHEA and testosterone in light of above prostate cancer results (fuckery IMHO). That is because I emailed her, and she left a telephone message, and so I will go see her tomorrow in a sudden appointment. All of which infuriates me no fucking end. I take medications that are useful and make me feel a lot better, and then the perps construct some scene to take them away from me. They did this in 2002, as a certain stimulant medication was very successful, one that flushes out dopamine. While I cannot be sure of my blood dopamine levels at present as they have never been tested, I was feeling a whole lot better. (Low dopamine = low testosterone). And now the assholes are at it again; obstructing useful and highly efficacious medication. To say that I am less than infuriated would be in error.

At work, a 1.5 hour session of traffic control on the busy road while a load of bottles was delivered to the winery. And in the usual drum beat of getting ready, and I duly put out the stand for the sign and put the sign away in the bush. And lo, some 20 minutes later, the tractor-trailer arrives and I go to put up the sign, and someone stole the stand, but not the sign. Who but the perps would arrange something so utterly stupid in so short of time for something so critical? And who of the public has any use for a steel stand for a roadside sign stand for crissakes?

06-10-2016
Rainy today, and the job at the other vineyard was called off. I was needed at the regular vineyard employer for a few hours and that is where I spent the morning. Dealing with garbage, bow making and then doing a small amount of vine planting. The perps cannot get enough of this latter activity, and this time was no exception.And of course, the major planting was next to the busy road, and of course the traffic noise was amped up just as I was inserting the plant into the hole. And too, this was near where I was doing traffic control in the middle of the road yesterday. And a day before that I was hacking roadside vegetation from the adjacent bank.

After that, the "good doctor" phoned and had some positive suggestions and provide an Rx over the above mentioned prostate cancer diagnosis, and seemed genuinely empathetic. "Together we can beat this" were her words, and we shall see. She confirmed the elimination of my testosterone intake, as prescribed, citing medico-legal reasons. There is no evidence of testosterone abetting prostate cancer, but 99% of doctors believe otherwise. Sounds like a planted mindfuck to me, which suggests that prostate cancer (and health) is governed by the sickos who create the problem in the first place. There seemed to be some forward movement on my iron deficiency from her, as the last visit in February seemed to be a blow-off on this topic. Another "we shall see" circumspection, but at least it is substantially forward looking than that technocrat urologist who said absolutely dick all about anything except biopsy results. I didn't think they made doctors like that any more, but I am told many of the foreigner doctors are the same. Around and around we go, without the "merry" part.

A 2.5 hour nap attack this afternoon; just when I thought I was going to get some things done in my unanticipated free time, why, someone else had plans for me.

More infuriation; the assholes have stopped me from playing music from files on my PC to my OPPO pre-amp to my stereo. This was set up perfectly some four weeks ago with help from OPPO support. I did not change a wire or setting or anything, and now digital music playback is fucked. What is it about the perps they must constantly fuck with music playback? It could be the reproduction quality all the way to obstructing the software or hardware. Now that I have speakers seems to up the ante. This insane shit over obstructing music playback goes  back to 2002 when they first went berserk/overt and even stopped a new Sony Discman from playing for crissakes. I got another one and it had problems too. A formerly reliable NAD CD player crapped out a year later, even defying the repair personnel. The YBA amp hassles have almost become legend of late. (Initially sent 12-2015, and now twice to Chicago for repair, and yet to come back). My brother stole my speakers from the crawl space for crissakes. Headphones are routinely hacked, and one pair has had two repair depot trips across the country (to Ontario). On and on, this sick assed obstruction over music playback continues, and it is relentless as it is senseless.

[Update; someone turned the volume down, the reason why I could not hear anything. Who would of done something so fucking stupid as that except to rile their victim some more?]

06-12-2016
A decent weather day after yesterday's on-off rain. This being a Sunday, and working at a vineyard run by someone else who is lot more relaxing and harmonious. They even let me work shirtless, which I did for a time to get more tanned. Or, as one TI says, I was getting prana energy from the sun. At least I was getting more vitamin D.

More evening conversation with Do Not Post tonight.

I took my DHEA this morning and had no nap attack after work, though I did get sacked for 30 min. of sit down time. I wish I knew where this was going; are they taking me out or making the most out of a medication change up? Anyhow, time to post this for the week.