1900h
Thats my new job for the next four weeks, handling tree seedling plugs and wrapping them in in bundles with shrinkwrap. It is about the easiest job I have had in horticulture, my new imposed career courtesy of my perp masters, when they allow me to work of course, which hasn't been full time. When they did their "shock (literally, in more than one way) and awe" high abuse onset in 04-2002, they didn't let me work at a job until 2008, and that was picking daffodil bulbs for two months.
And some 30 to 40 people on this afternoon shift, though today it was orientation and a warm-up. And yes, the freak count was high, though to be fair, there are three native Indian reserves nearby, and they count for some half of the crew in all their corpulent variety, as well as facial features like missing teeth, vacant stares, and even one fucker doing the "come at me" walk, and then averts at the last moment. Fucking bizarre I get this all over town and now at work. Just like last year and the Fugliest Negro coming at me for no reason.
Other freaks from the Unfavored demographic groups are a skinhead, elder dudes, the crack case like hoodie dude, and a negro woman, one who I met in 2008 at the farm job, and conversed with her enough to tell her this tale of woe. Today, she treats me like a leper, avoiding me twice and then barely saying hello, which is straight out of the perp playbook, friendly people going unfriendly. She pulled this stunt earlier this year at a bus stop where I was, wallking straight past me, looking deadset forward and pretending not to notice me 2' away. Just more of the usual bizarre antics the perps command in my proximity.
I had a notion she would be there, through a supposed mutual former co-worker who I email every fe days and will help move her out of her house next weekend, not tomorrow. On the way to the bus stop today, a negro dude was talking to himself and wearing a long skirt just to add to the show. Then on the bus a negro woman on the cell phone the whole 25 minute trip, so one can see that I was "negro-ed" in advance of getting to my perp abetting mother's place to then borrow her vehicle to get to the tree nursery. A negro stalking prior to working with a known-before negro.
And a legs and nut shave last night, and the perps always go extra beserk the next day, and today was no exception. They seem to like me doing this on Thursday nights for some reason when it was Saturday nights for three months prior. This leg shaving started in June as part of getting my legs tanned, surely a perp planted vanity notion as I never particularly cared what my legs looked like as I wore long pants al the time. But as all male features and comportment styles are getting exposed in all their facets, bare hairy legs, beards, shaved heads, hairy arms, waddle walking and the like, it would seem the perps did not want me to share in them this year by me looking at my own legs. So... this sudden vanity streak erupted in June this year (2011), along with a "need" to have short spandex shorts for the summer, and nothing to do with the fugly below-knee baggy shorts male parade I see all the time, and even now with the cold wet weather.
I picked up a parcel on the way there, a brown cardboard one, and lo, if the vehicular gangstalking on the way to the tree nursery didn't feature a large cardboard box in the pickup ahead of me, and accompanying vehicles to box me in to prevent me from passing the fucker.
Said parcel had a Peltor earmuff hygeine kit; replacement earpads and sound dampening foam. And for the second successive occasion, the earpads didn't quite fit, being 3mm too large in diameter, but identical in the symetrical oval shape. The previous replacement set were 2mm too big. So... I take the new foam insert and stuff it into the earmuff cup along with that I had on hand, and have tossed two new sets of earpads out. I just don't seen the point of these fucking games, pissing with my earmuffs which I have on my head most of the time, adding in new foam (three per earmuff cup now) and getting stiffed with the old earpads that are splitting up. Besides, the ringing noise in my head is just as bad, and if the perps want to punch a particular noise through to my ears, they can bypass the earmuffs altogether and deliver the exact noise at their prescribed volume, which is often the same as without the earmuffs on.
2000h
I see that the Dymo twin label printer is flashing one of its two blue lights that are normally constant. So I look under the lid and I see yesterday's file folder label that got stuck is gone altogether, as I couldn't pull it out in either direction and gave up. I attempted to reload the file folder label spool, but no, it fucked up and the label loader motor wouldn't take it. More things to repair, but different than I left it last night.
2250h
Something from Rachael O hits a nerve today:
Being targeted has forced me to be such a loser and surrounded by people I would not have chosen to be around. ...I am forced to depend on people who are not really interested in winning, just maintaining.Oh my, how I could write volumes on the dipshits I have been saddled with over my years as MC slave/abusee. Yessir, yet another part of the gangstalking/harassment/abuse scene is surround reasonable intelligent people with utter dumbshits. Not that I am comparing intelligences to my fave TI-in-arms, but it has been a very common perp theme, and all the more now since the day of infamy came on me in 04-2002. My in-town brother has had a starring role, and burnished at little more today when he "happened" to be at the First Feral Family house on the PC when I arrived there today to borrow my perp-abetting mother's vehicle.
Every few months he gets tasked by my mother in concert with me, to remove landscape vegetative matter like weeds, cut branches and any weedy or non-compostable matter (too woody). He grumps about it, but has the perfect vehicle to remove it readily, a white trades van. It usually takes him weeks to come by, and by then it has been doused with rain water, soaked some, even if it is in plastic bags. And so he complains that it is wet. Like WTF; pick it up right away so it doesn't get wet. Then he launches his hoary master excuse for everything, "I don't have enough time". Well, as it turns out, he was a totally focussed garage sale trover outside his day job, wheeling and dealing all over town and knows the entire street map of this town in his head. A year ago, for some obscure reason (read, perp managed), he takes up kick boxing to initiate fitness for the first time at 51 y.o. Commendable, and he goes 3x/ week regularly. So he found time to do this regular activity, and in doing so, blows a mighty hole in his stock excuse for inaction, "I don't have enough time". I reminded him once about this logical disjunct a few months ago and expected that would be the end of this 20 year long excuse he trots out. But no, he brings it up again, and I remind him of how he brought kick boxing into his life, and I let it go at that. He is like a stuck record/CD, even if he has no defensible and logical rebuttal. How can one have a discussion, enlightened arguement with a logical cripple? One cannot, ergo, another loser/go-nowhere person in my existence.
That he lost one eye in an accident of some kind, only he was there, when aged two from the perps (IMHO) doesn't seem to disuade him from his present perp-abetting rut he lives in. The reason I maintain the perps did it, is that in this totally perp managed family, with abetting parents from the get-go, there is absolutely nothing that happens that is an accident. Also, I get vision perturbations and hacking every waking minute, often one eye, then the other with strange focussing or double vision, always momentarily. And given that the eye socket and eyeball size has reached maximum size by age two, I suspect the perps knew exactly when to pull this stunt off in expected support of them covertly investigating me at that juncture, aged seven then, and ever since. I point out to my brother that the perps likely gouged his eye out and here is abetting them. I also point out that the perps are likely depressing him, and messing with the muscle/tendom problems he has, and that he should go and ream his handler's ass to get the real story on how much he is getting fucked. But no, he just mumbles something, and carries on as this feckless quisling. I suppose my problem is that I am motivated, won't ever accept the status quo, and am principled. And I get saddled with two brothers and parents who just aren't up to this standard of human interaction, (or pretend to be, or are managed to be). Maybe one person in my working career was intellectually interesting and shared my sense of motivation and dispair over the feckless, the liars, the goofs, and the rest of the tawdry lot I have been stiffed with as part of this perp managed life, down to the last gnat fart within 10 miles of me. Even last year's TI meeting in Nanaimo was an exercise in consorting with the idle-minded (or else constrained), save one with some spark in her. They didn't initiate any discussions, they didn't ask what was happening for me, they were in passive mode nearly all the time, if not in hang-dog pose, and one even came in to sit close with her back turned on me, the classic shit I deal with on the fucking gangstalker cruiser, the city bus freakshow, every week or more. So the entire event was arranged IMHO, though maybe not all of the dialog was scripted perhaps. I am not even allowed a free-form discussion and interaction with the regional TI community when I get to meet them in person it seems.
Well maybe one more was an interesting person in the past 20 years, and that was Ms. L of the story, whom I met at the Seattle national ADD conference in 2001. She was funny at times, a joy to be with except when she was hungry and then things deteriorated very fast. And she was making, it seemed, an honest effort to deal with her ADD issues, if not a little too excessive and quirky at times. In short, we clicked, and had similar interests, and were mutally supportive in our ADD issues, web research discoveries, attending cultural events etc. So... a week before the perps invade my apartment and out themselves as overt abusers, escalating it of course, Ms. L is off to New York. We talked on the phone long distance once that week, and it wasn't the best call I had from her, as she was so emotionally wracked from seeing the 9/11 destruction. Understandable, and we expected to meet up when she got back soon. But then a day or two after the Day of Abusive Infamy struck, the next call I got from her was that she was back in Seattle (she said). I conveyed what went on with the apartment invasion and all the real world things that happened and their continuing physical presence as well as the new (to me then) gangstalking, and she lapsed into this new familiar bullshit about seeing my doctor. I gave her some more examples of what was going on, she got all testy, and then hung up. I never heard from her again when she was a supportive person and that it was totally out of character for her. So ended the second instance of a motivated person I have met in the past two decades, though in fact, the whole ending had to be scripted. Whether she was an act, or whether she was genuinely ADD with some emotional amplititude problems I have no idea. But it is profundly clear in hindsight that the perps wanted to build up this mutally empathetic and supportive relationship and then suddenly jerk it away, never to replace it since of course. So yes Rachael, it is lonely as a questing TI, and that situation is managed to a significant degree by the perps down to even a fleeting empathic smile from a bank teller. Never mind anything more meaty or engaging than that.
Back to Rachael O's post today; I love her pithy, lucid and objective analysis as she skewers the pathetic, indolent and the complacent; "Peacable loving people piss me off after a while". Hmm, maybe I will get to meet her sometime and form our own principled TI group. A joke.
And here we have TI-lite, not meant in any way to diminish, deride or deny the absolutely atrocious experiences of JK Rowling (author of the Harry Potter books) as conveyed to the ongoing public Leveson Inquiry about abuses by the press in the UK. Why yes, I am harassed and gangstalked in public all the time, followed and surveilled as well. It is much the same as a TI, except the public pictures and stories in the newspapers; "besieged", "hostage", "drove ..out" of one's home, "watching you", "unjustifiably intrusive" etc. all apply, all the time as a TI. But it is MUCH, MUCH WORSE for TI's; one's cognitive and physical abilities are being remotely dithered and hacked and messed with, and one's life is a scripted charade 24x7. And that is not all; one's entire physical world is altered to make it constantly adverse as well as strange; telekinesis and teleporting objects, mostly lint, crumbs, threads and water drops are in constant abundance and take trajectories that are often unconventional. I sometime's wonder if celebs and whomever the press chooses to invade isn't also a perp concocted arrangement so they can keep a spectrum of life invasion and disruption going as part of their nonconsensual human experimentation/research imperative.
Anyway, too much pondering tonight, and time to post this.
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